Page 14 of The Last Trip

“When will that be?”

“I don’t know,” she says, brushing hair from her face. “I guess I’ll just…know.”

“But then how will I know?”

“I think the relationship will just naturally progress.” She rolls her eyes with a laugh. “Besides, I want to get to know you more. To know us more. This all feels really sudden. I know it’s been eight months since our first date, but that doesn’t feel long enough.”

What she means is, she doesn’t like me enough. She’s keeping me around until someone better comes along. “Right.”

She takes my cheek, kissing my lips. “I love you, though. You know I do. I just…I’m not ready yet. Let’s wait until I graduate.”

My smile is small and forced, but if she reads that, she doesn’t say anything. “Okay.”

“For now…” She hands me an egg roll and lifts one of her own, tapping them together. “For now, it’s just us. Just this moment. I want to enjoy it.”

I kiss her lips, but I’m no longer feeling it. The wind has been forcibly ripped from my sails. I have no idea what she could be waiting for. We both know we want each other. We love each other. What else is there to know?

Here’s what I know:I’m not taking this rejection as her final answer.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

HER — PRESENT DAY

It’s impossible. It’s…

“Hi, I’m Janelle.” She holds her hand out, cutting off my racing thoughts. Except, she isn’t Janelle. At least, that’s not the name I knew her by. Was she lying to me? Or him? What is she doing here?

I want to ask her all of this and more, but I can’t move. I can’t speak. I can’t do anything except stare at this woman in complete disbelief.

“It’s so nice to meet you,” she adds, her smile warm. It’s as if she doesn’t recognize me at all. She glances back up at Cal, a worried look on her face. “Thank you both again for having me. I hate that I’m interrupting your vacation.”

“You’re not interrupting,” Cal is quick to tell her. “We’re happy you could join us. I know you said chili was okay, but we have other things here too that I can whip up, if you don’t like mine. I know everyone makes it a bit differently. I do bell peppers for extra crunch, and fewer beans, so it’s not too heavy on the carbs.” He pats his stomach. “And…what else…” He looks around, running his hand through his hair.

Putting him out of his misery,Janellechuckles and puts a hand up. “It smells delicious. I’m sure it will be lovely.” Sheshrugs out of her coat while I’m trying my best to decide how to handle this, how to bring up the newly discovered elephant in the room. Should I try to pull Calvin aside? Should I ask her to leave? Should I make a scene? “Do you have somewhere I could hang this? I don’t want it to drip from the snow.”

“Oh, of course,” Cal says, taking the coat from her quickly. “Sorry. I should’ve taken that already. My head is…” He zips across the room and hangs it on the rack behind the door.

With his back to us, I return my focus to Janelle, trying to find the right way to ask her what is going on, to accuse her of everything I need to accuse her of without letting Cal know something is wrong. Without letting Cal know…anything.

Before I can say a word, she inhales deeply and steps toward the living room, peering out the oversized windows. “This place is really gorgeous.”

“Isn’t it?” Cal asks, and when I look back at him, he juts his chin forward, encouraging me to move toward her, to make conversation with this woman while he heads for the stove to prepare our bowls. “Like I told you, Sadie and I spent a lot of time looking through listings trying to find the right one, and this one seemed to have it all.”

She sighs again, and when I get near the window, I see that her eyes are closed with a smile on her lips. As if she knows I’m there, as if she knows the predicament she’s put me in and how my heart is now beating out of my rib cage as I stare at her, my chest like a balloon that’s been overfilled and can’t deflate. “So peaceful.”

Peace is the exact opposite of what I feel, and we both know it as she looks at me. Her lips form a hard line, and there’s something a bit forced about her tone as she asks, loudly, “So how did the two of you meet, Sadie? How long have you been married?”

“Oh.” My tongue feels like it weighs a hundred pounds hearing her say my name. It’s so strange, the way she’s looking at me completely normally when I’m not positive this isn’t all a dream.What is she doing here? What kind of game is she playing?

“Well, we’re not married yet,” Cal calls from the kitchen, and it’s only because I know him so well that I catch the faint hint of irritation in his voice. I’m not playing my part well enough, but I can’t help it. Everything is so messed up right now. “With the little one on the way”—he chuckles—“we wanted to wait until she was here, safe and sound. My mother is going to carry her down the aisle so she can be our flower girl.”

The woman—Janelle, or whatever the hell her name is—flicks her eyes down toward my stomach only briefly. “Oh, you’re expecting! How exciting!” The look on her face doesn’t match her voice, which tells me the feigned excitement is purely for Cal’s benefit. “When are you due?”

“Three weeks,” I say, my voice hoarse and powerless, though I’ve at least finally found it.

“You must be so excited. What are you going to name her?”

“I, um, well, I-I like Amelia, for my mother,” I say, “but we’ve also?—”

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