Page 84 of The Only Time

“I’ll be okay,” I say unconvincingly.

“You should call him,” she says as wraps her arms around her legs.

A bitter laugh escapes. “I can’t do that. I asked him to leave.”

“Can I ask why you did that if it’s not what you really wanted?” she asks gently.

Tears start to run down my cheeks. God, I am not a crier, and I’ve cried more times in the last month than I have in the last decade. “I guess I just wanted to see him fight for me. And it’s not like I was lying. It’s hard to believe he truly does love me. I was scared to just jump in and get hurt again.”

“But…you didn’t expect him to give up so easily?”

I nod my head as my chest rises unevenly, each breath more of a struggle as the tears cascade down my cheeks. I bite my lip, a futile effort to hold back the waves of emotion.

I don’t realize my brothers have joined until I dry my tears. They all sit on the couches and chairs around me as they watchme. I watch Marcus swallow his emotions down as he watches me breakdown.

He’s the youngest boy and the most emotional.

“Mia,” Gabe says. “He won’t be back. We made sure of it. He’s learned his lesson. He will stay far, far away from you. You’re safe.”

I look at Alexis with wide eyes. I don’t know if I even want to go down this road with my brothers to tell them the real reason that I’m in this state.

“What’s going on, Mia?” Lucas asks as his eyes bounce from me to Alexis. “Is there something we need to know?”

“It’s nothing,” I say through the thick of my emotions.

His head turns to the side as I see the concern written all over his face. “It doesn’t look like nothing. This isn’t like you. Something else is going on.”

“Mia?” Gabe asks. “Is there something else going on?”

Ugh, I can’t lie to them. Not when they are looking so concerned for me. My eyes remain on the coffee floating around inside my cup as I work to gather the courage to talk.

“You’re right. I’m not upset about Don. It’s about Eric.”

When I look up, Lucas seems confused. “Eric, the guy you stayed with in Savannah?”

My head moves up and down. “Yeah.”

They seem to understand instantly what I’m referring to. I can’t believe that I’m sitting here broken hearted over a man who walked away when I didn’t want him to, while recovering physically from one that refused to walk away when I begged him to? The embarrassment that I feel right now is making me want to hide under my covers and never come out.

“Do you want me to continue?” Savannah asks, knowing I can’t explain it all over again to anyone right now.

I nod my head, thankful that she knows me enough.

I remain seated as I listen to another person tell the story which sounds so much more pathetic as I hear someone else talk about it. Was I really that ignorant that I saw it going any other way with Eric? He told me from the beginning what his intentions were. Maybe I was right to tell him to leave.

After she’s done, we all sit in silence as I wait for them to tell me I need to grow up and start making better choices.

I look from Gabe, to Lucas, to Marcus as they all wear solemn faces. The silence of the room feels deafening. I tuck a non-existent piece of hair behind my ear just to do something with my hand.

“You love him?” Marcus asks.

My head moves up and down as I fight back the tears that want to continue. I refuse to let out any more tears in front of anyone.

“I wish you told us,” Lucas adds.

“I guess in the beginning, there was no reason to say it out loud because there were no promises being made between us. Then when I knew I was falling in love, I was afraid to admit it. When it blew up from there, I was embarrassed to admit it. Between Don and this, I feel incapable of making a decent decision to save my life.”

“But then he came to the hospital?” Gabe asks with his elbows on his knees, his hands under his chin.

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