Page 74 of The Only Time

I do my best to put on a happy face for the rest of the brunch. Distracting myself by listening to all the things I missed when I was away.

But everything that brought me joy before seems to feel dull and grey now. I couldn’t even enjoy the cannoli I stopped and got for myself on the way home. In all my years, I’ve never hit rock bottom like this before.

I can’t help but think that there seems to be one difference between my sister-in-law's stories and mine. They had a man who loved them enough to fight for them. I saw my brothers when they messed up with them, they were a wreck. They were hollow shells of themselves.

So, while I appreciate them trying to compare our situations and make me feel better, I don’t think they understand that Eric is different. Eric let me walk away without a second thought. I’m sure he’s happy that I’m gone and out of his space, and that is what hurts the most.

Chapter Thirty-One

Eric

The bitter sting of my whiskey is the only thing that proves to me that I can still feel. I raise the crystal glass in my hand and study the amber liquid. Is this going to be my only companion for the rest of my life?

I take another sip and feel the burn all the way down. The burn isn’t intense enough. I deserve more torture for what I did to Mia. It’s been a week, and her tears haunt me every minute of every day.

Kim’s tears did nothing to me. I actually found myself annoyed when she cried. But with Mia, it’s like my body is an extension of hers. When she cries, I feel it down into the pit of my stomach.

I’ve been playing that evening in my head over and over, wondering what I could’ve done differently. But the feeling of not being good enough for her still comes barreling back everytime. I get angry that she couldn’t just leave well enough alone and not try to change me.

Then I sit at work, hating every second of it, and I can’t help but wonder if she was right. Maybe I’m not happy. But then what happens when I have to start from scratch and build a business from the ground up and am struggling financially? There’s no way she’ll want to be with someone like that. Not a smart, successful woman like her.

I open the top drawer in my desk, and something catches my eye. I pull the stapled papers out and read the design on the top page.

The wordsEric’s Wood and Grainare in the middle, and it is surrounded by trees with an ax running through it. It looks like it’s pyrographed onto a log.

This is Mia’s business proposal for me. The logo in itself is stunning.

I place my drink down on my desk and lean back in my chair. With a shaky hand, I turn the page. As I read through her words, I’m blown away at the amount of detail she has put into it. She captures the essence of what the craft means to me.

Then I get into the marketing strategy which is well researched and thought out. She found my target audience and how to market to them through social media and locally. I flip the page and find a financial projection of the first year. Forecasted revenue, expenses, and cash flow.

She must’ve spent weeks on this. As I read further, a weird sense of excitement bubbles up in me. Is it really possible to make a living off of this?

Then I think about how I treated her when she brought it up and bile rises in my throat.

A knock on my front door pulls me from my misery. Fuck, I’m not in the mood for visitors. It’s probably Layla here to make me feel even more crappy about myself.

When I open the door, I’m surprised to see Asher and Liam staring back at me. They let themselves in before I can say anything.

“We heard you might need a little company,” Liam pats my shoulder as I close the door.

We walk into the kitchen as I try to figure out how to get them the hell out of here. I just want to drink my sorrows away on my own.

“Whoever told you that was sorely mistaken,” I reply as they take a seat at my island.

“You look like shit, man. Have you gotten any sleep?” Asher asks.

“Is this your idea of trying to make me feel better? Because you suck at it.”

I opt to stand across from them on the other side of the island. I’m in no mood to pretend like I want to get cozy and talk.

“Wasn’t trying to make you feel better. I’m just telling you like I see it.” He rests his elbows on the counter. “So, I hear you sent Mia packing.”

Every muscle in my body coils at his words. I want to punch his face for acting so casually about what I’m going through. “Choose your words carefully,” I warn.

“Tell us it’s not true and we’ll leave you alone,” Liam counters.

I stand in silence because it’s true and I know it. We all know it. Everybody knows what I did, and now I have to deal with the consequences.

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