Page 64 of The Only Time

I try to swallow past the lump in my throat. Suddenly, this topic feels suffocating. Maybe because I needed to hear those words, and I’m afraid that she just might be making me believe in love again.

“We don’t need to talk about this. I’d much rather take you upstairs and kiss every inch of your perfect body,” I whisper as my lips graze hers.

I can feel her reluctance to me changing the subject, but she gives in and wraps her arms around my neck. I scoop her up and head for the stairs.

I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. I’m heading for a cliff, but there’s no way to stop. Not when everything feels right when she’s in my arms. Tonight, I just want to shut the world out. Shut my brain off and get lost in the comfort of her skin against mine.

I know it’s not the healthiest way to deal with my past or any negative emotions, but I’ve never claimed to be a stand-up guy.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Mia

I can watch him work all day long. When he is in the barn, he is in his element. He sweat through his shirt, so he got rid of it. Now he’s in my favorite outfit. Jeans and his work boots, and nothing else.

I’m sitting on top of a large wooden work bench as I watch.

“You know how they make those calendars with like firefighters with no shirts on to raise money?” I say as I swing my legs up and down.

“Yeah, I think I know what you’re talking about,” he replies, not looking away from his project.

The muscles in his arms flex as he measures something with a ruler and marks it with a pencil behind his ear.

“I think I want one of those but of pictures with you working in here. No shirt. I’d like to hang that in my office.”

A large smirk spreads across his beautiful face as he uses the pencil and makes a mark on the wood. “Is that what you’re thinking about over there while I work on this table?”

“I think about your body a lot.”

He looks up at me for a second and winks. That’s all it takes to make my heart explode in my chest. I smile like a schoolgirl who’s crush just acknowledged her for the first time.

I hear him chuckle and find his eyes on me. “Don’t be embarrassed. I think about your body a lot too, babe. In fact, I think I’d like a similar calendar with you in the office wearing nothing but a bra and panties.”

“Why does it sound pervy when a guy asks for that?”

He shakes his head and laughs then gets back to work. I take the time to study him. The way he licks his bottom lip when he’s concentrating.

His confession to me the other night has been weighing on me ever since. I can’t believe he was engaged. Everything about him makes so much more sense. Between his friend selling him out for a chance to look cool in front of a girl when they were twelve to a fiancée leaving him for a man with more money, no wonder he has some trust issues.

It all seems to come back to how much money he has. He’s been trained to believe his worth as a man is dependent on the amount of money he makes.

It breaks my heart.

“So, I was thinking,” I say as my voice wavers. “Ever since we talked about your ex.”

He doesn’t look up at me, but I see the muscles in his jaw tense. That should be my warning not to say anything, but I keep going. “Between the story you told me with your first crush and the reasons your fiancée left. I wonder if maybe that contributed to some of your feelings about relationships.”

Okay, there may have been a more eloquent way to say that.

A bitter laugh escapes him. “Nice observation.”

Ouch. The hint of sarcasm hurts, but I keep going. Seriously, I don’t know what my problem is. I just want him to find peace and I hate that those two experiences define love for him.

“I know, but seriously. I hate that you have this impression that all relationships will be like that. There are many women out there that don’t need money to be happy. They would love you just for who you are.”

He stops working for a second, eyes trained on his work. Then bends down to get eye level with the wood before making a cut. I guess he isn’t going to respond. That’s fine, but I already started the conversation. I can’t just leave it.

“I just hate to see you missing out on life, or love, because you might be scared to…”

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