Page 90 of The First Time

“Oh, dear. I don’t walk around naked. I’m sixty years old. No one needs to see that, including myself.”

I chuckle to myself as we walk into the kitchen.

“Can I get you anything to eat or drink?”

“I’m good. Thanks.”

She points to the family room. “Why don’t we sit in here. It’s stifling outside.”

“Good idea. It’s getting to that time of year where it’s miserable to be outside for even a second.”

We take a seat next to each other on their large sectional couch. “I know. I can’t even stand my morning walks anymore. There’s no break from the humidity.” I smile as my hands fidget in my lap. “Well, I reckon you came here to talk about something specific,” she continues.

“I did actually have something in mind.”

She straightens her back, but I can tell she’s nervous. For good reason, it’s not every day your adult daughter shows up out of the blue with no warning. Silence fills the air, as I try to figure out where I want to start.

“I actually wanted to talk to you about what happened the other night at the barbeque.”

Her forehead creases as her eyes squint. “I don’t understand.”

My eyes dart around the room as if looking for an escape. I take a deep breath. “It’s about William.”

“Oh?” she replies as she shifts in her seat.

“Yes. I’ve never told you guys this before, but it makes me really uncomfortable when you talk about the two of us together. Especially, when it’s in front of him and his parents.”

Her head hangs a bit low, but I want to get this all out, so I continue.

“William and I happened in high school. That was so long ago, and I’ve moved on from it. If I wanted to be with him, I would.”

“I’m sorry, dear. It’s never been my intention to make you feel uncomfortable.”

“I know. But to be honest, I don’t even understand how you see me and William as compatible.”

She looks up at the ceiling and lets out a small sigh. “In the beginning, you two just seemed to make such a cute couple. I thought he made you happy, and I suppose it was just a bit of fun to say those things. Then I saw you working so hard at the restaurant, I may have gotten a bit selfish in wanting you to settle down with someone and start a family.”

“You do know William is kind of a dick, right?” I say bluntly.

“Oh, I know he comes from money. He has an air about him, but he always seemed kind enough to me. And he always seemed to adore you. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you.”

“I know, and I should have just spoken up sooner. I just never wanted to disappoint you guys.”

“Disappoint us? I never want you to think anything matters over your happiness. Is that what you’ve thought? That I’m trying to set you up with William for me?”

I nod my head as a tear slips down my cheek. Mom scoots closer and grabs my hand. I haven’t had a moment like this with her in ages, it feels like something I didn’t know I desperately needed.

“Honey, that breaks my heart. I’m sorry.”

I shrug my shoulders. “It’s okay.”

She sighs. “No, it’s not. Look, I know things changed a lot for us when you were in high school. Dad’s business took off, and it was like a whirlwind ever since then. I let it affect our relationship, and I’ve hated myself for it for years.”

She begins to cry, tears matching my own. “There was a lot going on. I understand you were thrown into a new world.”

“It was a different world than what I was used to. All of a sudden, how I acted, how I dressed, it all seemed to directly affect your father’s business relationships. It was a lot of pressure, but no excuse that I let it all affect us.”

“Well,” I squeeze her hand. “I’m glad we’re talking about it now.”

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