Page 28 of The First Time

She nods. “Just don’t leave me.”

I give her body a squeeze to let her know that I’ve got her and I’m not going anywhere. We walk slowly until we are in the center of the entire cathedral. We both look around in silence as we take in the view. I start to turn us around so we can get the three-hundred-sixty-degree view. I’m honored that she’s letting me do this, that she’s trusting me with her fear.

“Those things remind me of these drip sand castles I used to make on the beach growing up. Minus the life-size statues on top of them,” she says.

I chuckle. “The pinnacles. Yeah, I can see that. They’re stunning, aren’t they? I’ve never seen anything like it. The statues look like they’re about to touch the sky.”

My hand glides along her stomach as I try to secure her closer to me. I can hear her sharp intake of breath. Next thing I know, my hand is sliding under her shirt and caressing her stomach.

“Just so you know, last night was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I was not rejecting you under the pretense of being honorable. I had to go into the bathroom after you fell asleep to take care of myself. You don’t know what you mean to me, Freckles. I would do anything to protect you, to make sure you’re treated the way you deserve. And you deserve more than our first time being a night of drunken sex. I wasn’t willing to risk you not remembering our first night together.”

She looks up at me, into my eyes. “I don’t know what to do with that.”

I smile at her and then kiss her forehead. “Just enjoy the view. You don’t need to do anything.”

I’m not sure how long I stand there holding her with the entire city of Milan on our horizon. It’s a moment I know will live with me forever. I like being able to have her in my arms under the pretense of her fear.

Last night, it was the alcohol; today, it’s helping her face her fears. Maybe one of these days, she’ll be in my arms because she’s mine, and that’s where she chooses to be all on her own.

After a long day spent walking around the city, we almost fall into our seats at dinner.

“I need wine and sparkling water,” she demands as soon as we sit.

“I second that. I need alcohol to forget about the pain in my feet and water because I think I’m dehydrated.”

“And I need a huge bowl of pasta because I burned enough calories to not give a fuck what I eat,” she adds.

“We’ll get you all the carbs you want.”

“Ah, good evening,” our waiter says as he lays out a plate of bread for us. “Our homemade bread with olive oil using our locally grown olives. Can I start you off with something to drink?”

“Yes, we would like a bottle of your finest red wine and some sparkling water,” I tell him.

“Treating your beautiful woman tonight, I see.”

I know I should correct him, tell him she’s not mine, but I like how it sounds. And I like that she hasn’t corrected him either. She’s been so quick to make the correction since we’ve gotten here.

After our wine arrives, we order our pasta and sit back, enjoying our drinks as we watch the sunset over the city. From here, I can see the cathedral lit up.

“So, tell me, what else did you dream of doing on your trip to Italy?” I ask her as we begin to eat our food.

“Oh gosh. I know I need to come back, there’s too much. There is one stupid thing I kept picturing, but it’s stupid.”

I lean forward. “Now you have to tell me.”

“You’ll make fun of me,” she says as she rolls her eyes and takes a sip of wine.

“Probably. You still have to tell me.”

She glares at me. “Whatever. I don’t even care anymore. I kept picturing having a picnic on a hill in Tuscany overlooking a vineyard with the rolling hills ahead of me. I would have local cheeses and wine. I would be with some sexy Italian guy who would feed me the cheese.”

I bite my lip, trying not to laugh. “I see.”

“Ugh, I can tell you’re trying not to laugh at me. I told you it was stupid.”

I chuckle. “I mean, it’s an interesting thing. I get the picnic in Tuscany. The Italian man feeding you cheese is a little… cliche.”

“That’s me, one big cliche. I also want to visit Venice. I’m not sure if we will have enough time to drive over there. It’s only a couple of hours away from here.”

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