Page 95 of The Last Time

But I can’t do that. I can’t go after her and ask that of her when I’m in this kind of shape. If she wants a man who can open his heart, that’s not me.

At least not yet. The first step at Lauren’s grave was monumental for me, but just the tip of the iceberg.

Me: I don’t think she wants me there. I wouldn’t blame her. I wouldn’t want me there either.

He texts back instantly.

Josh: Paul sure seems to be happy that you’re not here.

That motherfucker.

Josh knows exactly what he’s doing. He’s goading me, and it’s fucking working. I know I don’t have any right to claim her as mine right now, but dammit, she is mine.

I love her.

And he just wants what’s mine.

On the way to my room, I whip off my shirt and find a new faded red one to put on. It’s my favorite baseball shirt that I’ve had forever. I throw on a hat and text my brothers.

Me: I need someone to come here and hang at my place while Brie sleeps. It’s urgent.

I begin pacing back and forth as I picture his hands on her.

Eric: I can be there in ten. Is everything alright?

Me: Just get here soon. No one’s hurt if that’s what you’re worried about.

Just as promised, he’s pulling in my driveway within ten minutes. I open the front door as he approaches.

“This isn’t like you,” he says as he comes in. “Care to tell me what’s so urgent?”

I lift my hat and run my hand through my hair. “It’s just…hard to explain. Charlotte.”

He nods his head in understanding. “That sounds kinda easy to explain to me. Get outta here. I’ve got it covered.”

“Thanks,” I say with relief. “I won’t be too late.”

He shrugs as if when I’m home is no concern to him.

The entire drive to the bar, I try to rack my brain with a reason to be there, but I’ve got nothing.

The damn truth is, I shouldn’t be going. I’m too messed up in the head to be her man right now, and she doesn’t owe me a thing.

I’m also too in love with her to let her go. What am I going to do? Beg her to stay and wait around for me to work on myself. No woman in the world would want to do that.

I park my car and practically run into the bar. I spot them outside in the back corner.

Layla and Josh are bickering about something, acting like it’s not some years-long foreplay that none of us can see through.

Avery and Kyle are all over each other. Someone needs to talk to them about their excessive PDA.

Josh and Layla spot me, and I see the shock on Layla’s face as I approach.

“What’re you doing here?” she asks.

I shrug. “Just thought I’d come by. I hear there’s a celebration tonight.”

Layla crosses her arms. “There is. But I’m not sure you should be here. Charlotte just told me today and I wanted tonight to be about her.”

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