Page 93 of The Last Time

It just never made sense, her affair. It still doesn’t make sense. We were happy. I know we were. From the moment we found out she was pregnant; we were on cloud nine.

At least I was. Maybe I missed all the warning signs, telling me she wasn’t happy.

“I’m not going to let your decisions ruin my life anymore,” I tell her. “It’s been long enough. I’m moving on, Lauren.”

I pull our wedding rings out of my pocket and place them in the vase attached to her gravestone.

“I’ll always speak highly of you to our daughter. She will always know who her mother was, but my heart is no longer yours.”

When I’m back in my car, I lie my head back and close my eyes. Charlotte’s face is the first thing I see.

Her face is the first thing that I see in the morning and the last thing I see before I fall asleep. She consumes my thoughts all day, every day.

She’s the reason I’m here, the reason I’m forcing myself to confront my demons head-on.

As I drive my car along the dark, gloomy streets, I begin to feel lighter. It’s freeing to have finally spoken to her about what she did. Even if she couldn’t talk back, I still felt heard.

Finding out that the person you committed your life to deceived you in the worst possible way only after they’re gone is a torture I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

It’s impossible to sort out your feelings. Every negative thought or feeling you have toward them feels wrong since they’re gone. It just leads to so much anger and resentment at the world in general since you can’t focus it on the offender. I know this doesn’t solve everything, but it’s a start. For the first time, it gives me hope that I can find a way out of this trap I’ve created around my heart.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Charlotte

“Didyouseriouslysaythat to him?” I gasp at Layla.

We’re walking through the department store with a fresh cup of coffee in our hands. I spent all week trying to figure out what I wanted when it all finally hit me while sitting on the dock one morning.

“He was being a total jackass,” she defends. “He’s lucky I didn’t kick him out of my restaurant.”

“Have you ever done that before? Kicked him out?” I ask.

She and Josh have had such an on-and-off relationship since I’ve come around. I honestly can’t tell anymore whether they really hate each other or not.

“No,” she sighs. “But I should. Anyway,” she takes a sip of her coffee, “care to tell me why I met you here to walk around with a cup of coffee on a Saturday morning? I mean, I’m not complaining or anything, but I don’t think I’ve ever been asked to have coffee while doing this.”

I laugh, thinking about how strange of a request it is without any context. “I appreciate you going along with it. Though, there is a reason for it.”

She looks at me skeptically. “Spit it out already.”

“I’ve decided to stay in Isle of Hope. Permanently.”

“What?” she squeals. “Are you serious?”

I nod my head. Layla wraps her arms around me. “You have no idea how happy this makes me. When did you decide?”

“Yesterday morning,” I tell her as we stand in the middle of the aisle. “I met with a realtor recently, and the entire time, I had this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. The truth is, I don’t want to move. This place has always been a safe haven for me. I love it. And I don’t want to give up the last place that I feel connected to my dad.”

She smiles sadly. “I get it. It’s a special place for you.”

“And…now that I’m staying. I need some furniture.”

She looks around in understanding. “Ahhh. So today is a day of shopping? Well, you’ve asked the right person to help. Now tell me, what exactly are we looking for?”

I try to think of all the things floating around in my brain. There’s so much to buy, and I know I can’t afford all of it at once.

“I want to get a coffee table and end tables for the family room. I need some furniture for the master bedroom. I plan on bringing my current bed and furniture down here to use in a spare bedroom for when my mom visits. I need some new appliances for the kitchen. I think that’s where I’m starting today.”

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