Page 59 of The Last Time

He throws his head back and laughs. “I talked to Bret the other day.”

I roll my eyes. “Stop. Just stop. I don’t need to hear about what you two girls were gossiping about. I have a pretty good idea.”

“So, it is true,” he says enthusiastically. “Hell yeah, man. Good for you.”

“I never admitted to anything,” I point out.

“So, you weren’t making out with her on her deck?” He wiggles his eyebrows at me.

I punch him on his arm, and he feigns to be hurt, though I know I didn’t hit him hard enough.

I chuckle to myself. “I didn’t know he saw that part.”

I suppose we were right there on the back deck, easily visible from the kitchen.

“Seriously, man. It’s nice to see you like this,” he says, patting my leg.

“Like what?”

“Smiling. Happy.”

I grab my water bottle and take a big sip, not quite sure how to respond to that. I’m not great at discussing my emotions anymore. I’m out of practice. Once upon a time, talking about my feelings didn’t scare me in the slightest.

“I just want to make sure, before you jump into this, that you’ve dealt with everything you need to. Charlotte seems like a catch, man, but she also appears independent and headstrong. She’s not gonna put up with your bullshit if you lash out and refuse to open up.”

He’s right—I know he is—but I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. I can’t seem to stay away from her, and I’m crazy about her, but nothing has changed.

I don’t see myself miraculously able to open up to someone and let them in again.

We sit in silence for a bit while my brain continues to spiral out of control.

“I’m not telling you to stop seeing her. You deserve to be happy,” he says as he pats me on the shoulder.

“I know. I appreciate it.”

“Don’t freak out about it and overanalyze my words. Anyway, I should get back inside.”

His words weigh on me while I drive home with Brie in the backseat after picking her up from my parents. The last thing I want to do is hurt Charlotte.

But she’s also leaving at the end of the summer, so it’s not like she can get hurt. She’d be the one leaving me.

Shit. My hands grip the steering wheel harder at the thought of her leaving.

If anything, I’ll be the one nursing my wounds when she inevitably leaves. It’s also not like she has any interest in becoming a stepmom.

I don’t know what I’m worrying about. She is probably just looking for a summer fling while she’s here. She said it herself: She’s had a crush on me for years. It's probably just her fulfilling some teenage dream to get with her friend’s older brother.

“Daddy!” Brie says in my arms as we’re walking into the house.

“Yes, sweetie?” I ask as I kiss her chubby cheeks. I can’t help it. They’re my weakness.

“Beach, pwease?”

I put her down as soon as we walk through the door, and she turns up to look up at me.

“Beach!” she jumps up and down.

I chuckle at her enthusiasm. “We can’t go to the beach right now. Maybe this weekend, if the weather is nice.”

---