Page 53 of The Last Time

My body shivers at the thought of me being the reason he wanted to dance again. After what he’s been through, I love the thought that I could be the reason he is happy again.

I also don’t feel like lying to Layla. It was never something we did before, and just because I’m with her brother, I’m not about to start now.

“Yes, we’ve acted on it.”

She claps her hands together in excitement. “I knew it!”

I smile, excitement building that I finally get to talk about this with someone. It’s been lonely trying to keep it inside when all I want to do is gossip like a teenager to my friends.

“Don’t get too excited. I don’t really know what’s going on between us. It’s only been a couple of times, and we haven’t really discussed anything. I mean, he’s a single dad and I’m leaving at the end of the summer. How could we make that work?”

Her face falls. “But he’s been so much happier ever since you’ve come around.”

“I know. Honestly, I’ve been happier since I’ve been here too.”

“Then maybe you two can figure something out. What if you didn’t leave?” she says hopefully.

“You mean, stay here in Isle of Hope?”

“Why not? You love it here, don’t you?”

I exhale sharply. “I do love it here. But my mom is in Cincinnati. I can’t imagine her ever wanting to come visit if I stayed in this house that must hold so much pain for her.”

It’s the first time the idea has come up, but the thought of decorating the place as my own, spending my mornings outside on the deck watching the boats go by with a fresh cup of coffee…it makes me kind of want that life.

“I imagine that would be tough for her, but you can’t decide your happiness based on others. I’m sure she would be able to come around to the idea, if it really was what you wanted.”

“Maybe. I don’t know. I can’t really think about that right now. I have to focus on getting the place done. Plus, Asher and I are nowhere near ready to talk about something like that.”

Layla looks at me like she’s contemplating her words. “There is something I wanted to talk to you about regarding Asher.”

My stomach falls. “Umm…okay.”

“It’s nothing horrible. It’s just…” she pauses, “he’s been through a lot. The sudden death of Lauren, something none of us could have ever expected.”

“I know, it’s horrible. Losing your wife so young, and with a baby.”

She sighs. “I don’t know. I feel like there’s more to the story, but he hasn’t been willing to open up to any of us about it. He’s different now, even from the way he was while she was sick and after she passed. It was months after she was gone that like…a switch flipped, and he became this bitter, angry man.”

“Maybe it just took some time for reality to settle in before he became angry at the world for what happened. He could’ve been in a state of shock.”

She seems to ponder my words. “Could be. I just get this feeling that there’s something I’m missing. Either way, I just want you to be careful. I don’t want to warn you away from him, just make you aware that he’s been through a lot, and I’m just worried he hasn’t resolved his feelings toward everything surrounding her death.”

An ache forms in the pit of my stomach.

Is he still grieving her loss? Am I just a distraction?

It’s only been a few short weeks, but knowing he used me to distract himself from the pain of his loss would ruin me.

But, if I’m being honest with myself, I don’t get the sense that that is what is happening between us. It feels much bigger than that.

“I appreciate you telling me. I do. I don’t think I’m at a point where I’m going to push him on his darkest feelings yet, but I know if things continue between the two of us, it’s a discussion that will need to be had.”

I do my best to move the conversation back to more optimistic subjects. Tonight is not about worrying about all the what-ifs in my life. Though I can’t deny that her words play on repeat in my head throughout the rest of our evening.

Chapter Fifteen

Asher

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