Page 100 of Where We Fall

I stop to take a breath, winded from speaking the truth for the first time in all these years. Nobody says anything to me, not a word.

Are they waiting for me to apologize for my outburst? Probably.

It will be another immature thing that Marcus said at work, and I’m so damn over it.

“You know what, screw this. I’m outta here,” I say,

I grab my briefcase and storm out. I don’t give them a chance to further piss me off.

I get in my car and speed off, not sure where the hell I’m going or what I want to do. I just know I can’t do this anymore. I can’t sit back and watch the love of my life walk away while simultaneously being told it’s my fault…by my family.

With nowhere else to go, I wind up at home on a Tuesday afternoon, drinking my feelings.

Each of my siblings has called me a dozen times, but I hit ignore every time.

There’s nothing else that needs to be said at the moment. I just need to be alone.

I see Lexi’s name light up on my phone in between all my other calls. I stare at it for a second, not sure if I want to answer. I'm worried just hearing her voice will make me fall further into this dark pit of despair.

But I'm too weak. It's still Lexi. I can't ignore her.

“Hello,” I answer.

“Hi,” she whispers.

Silence.

It feels like I’ve used up all of my energy to stand up for myself today. I don’t have it in me to start the conversation. She's the one who called me.

“I heard what you said to your siblings.”

Shit, I didn’t think about the fact that she was right there on the other side of the door.

“Yeah,” is all I can get out. I don’t know what to say about it.

“I’m proud of you.”

“You are?”

She sighs. “Of course. Look, I know they love you and think they’re doing or saying what’s best, but they’re wrong. As an outsider, it’s obvious that they haven’t shed the image of the youngster you once were that they needed to keep in line. You said what needed to be said. So, yes, I’m proud of you.”

Her unwavering support just makes this whole thing so much harder.

“Thanks. It was long overdue.”

“It was.”

Everything in me wants to scream at her to give us a chance. We can make it work somehow, but I’m too exhausted. Also, my ego is screaming at me that she ended things.

It's telling me that it shouldn’t have been so easy for her to say goodbye.

“Well…” she says awkwardly. I realize I’ve been thinking instead of talking. “I’ll let you go. I just wanted to tell you what you did was a good thing. Don't regret it or apologize to them.”

“Thanks, Lexi.”

“Bye, Marcus,” she says, her voice breaking at the end.

“Bye.”

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