Page 77 of Where We Met

"Come on," she wraps her arm around me. "Don't worry about her. She's clearly desperate. Have you seen the way she dresses for class? Any man with an ounce of class wouldn't be into her."

Her words give me enough confidence to not completely fall over in tears or run down those stairs and punch Rebecca in the face. Okay, I would never do that, but picturing it makes me feel a little bit better.

"What should we do on our second last Friday night as college students?" Tricia asks the group with excitement.

"There's a couple parties going on, we can go to a bar, or have a girl's night in," Aubrey suggests as we continue walking to our place.

I'm not really in the mood for anything but my bed. I know I need to go out with them and do anything in my power to soak up my time left. It's just so hard to do when it feels like you could be on the verge of losing someone you love.

"I vote for a party. Let's go out the way we came in. We used to always love going to parties," Shannon speaks up.

The rest of the girls agree. I nod my head that I'm in, afraid that if I speak, they'll hear the lack of enthusiasm in my voice.

Here I am, sitting on the deck of someone's house while music blares all around us. I'm sipping on my wine, realizing how far I've come in the four years that I've been here. I used to dance around with a beer in my hand as I flirted and laughed with people.

Now the music is loud, the people are annoying, and I want to be anywhere but here.

Shannon looks around the deck as other girls are stumbling and cracking up. "Is that what we used to be like? Why didn't anybody slap us in the face?"

I almost spit up the wine I'm drinking as a laugh escapes me.

"I'm so glad you said that. I thought I was the only one feeling that way," I admit.

"I refuse to believe that was us four years ago," Tricia says.

"Unfortunately, that was exactly what we looked like," Aubrey says with a cringe.

We all look back at the party. I don't think we realized how we've all changed until now. We came into this school as immature, brand new adults. Not a care in the world, just looking to have a good time. We're leaving with more real-world experience, hoping to find a path in life that makes us all happy.

I think I hear Tricia sigh. "I can't believe it's all over."

The reality of the moment hits us and silence falls upon our group.

Wherever we end up next, I just hope that we can still stay connected. I hate that I lost most of my last semester with them. All because I let pride get in the way, and though it's hard to admit, a part of me didn't think I was worth the trouble for anybody. I don't know where this insecure part of me came from, but Luke was able to show me how to love myself more. He showed me what I was doing to myself, how I was the one belittling myself. Once you see that, how do you not make steps to start and change it?

I don't want to be the reason that I'm unhappy.

"What do you say we go home, bake goodies, and drink more wine?" I suggest, just wanting more quality time with them.

They all turn around toward me. "Yes!" they agree in unison.

"Let's eat so much sugar that we need to switch to sweatpants," Shannon suggests. "That's how you know you did it right."

We walk back to our apartment and Shannon gets started on the cookies right away. The girl is serious about her desserts.

I open the bottle of wine and pour our glasses. We all huddle around the island, drinking while we watch Shannon.

"Let's play truth or dare," Aubrey suggests. The wine is starting to kick in and we're getting a bit loose and silly. Truth or dare sounds fun. "I'll start. Tricia, truth or dare," Aubrey asks.

Tricia bites her bottom lip as she considers her options. Your option all depends on who's asking.

"Truth."

"Hmm." Aubrey taps her finger on her chin as she thinks. "What's the kinkiest thing you've done since being at college?"

I throw my head back and laugh. Aubrey is such a goodie-two-shoes. We mess with her all the time because she is so inexperienced and shy when it comes to sex. Even now, her cheeks are turning red at the idea of sharing this with us.

"Umm, ugh, you suck for this question," she says. "I mean I gave my first blowjob this year. That was kinky."

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