Page 94 of Knights Game

Katy

He's in bits. Why the hell is he in bits? I tap out my reply, but I want to speak to her. I just want to get someone else’s thoughts on this.

“Layla.” Luca’s deep voice is at the door. “I’m not a patient man, but I just want you to listen very carefully.” I clench my eyes shut. “What happened tonight—”

I walk over to the door and unlock it “Did you fuck her after I left?”

“What! No.” He’s dishevelled and pale, and so far away from the put together man that I stood next to five hours ago.

“But you kept looking at her.”

“I did.” I go to slam the door, but he puts his hand out.

“Move your hand, Luca.”

“You’ve hurt me.”

“I hurt you?” I ask, eyes wide. “Are you insane?”

“How could you even ask that? How could you think I’d do that?”

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe the fact that you kept watching her.”

“And that means what? That I'd fuck her as soon as you run? I thought I made myself very clear, no? You do not hit me.” He’s not listening to me. My heart beats rapidly as frustration builds, making me angry.

“But you can treat me like a piece of shit, right? Have me at your beck and call, boss me around, tell me what to do?”

He steps forward getting up into my personal space, and I step back folding my arms over my chest, lifting my chin.

“Luca,” Roman says, and Luca steps back, clutching his hair. He looks like he’s… I’m not sure what.

“He’sgotyouon a leash for once?” I say. I must have a death wish. But how dare he play the victim?

He looks at the floor, takes a breath, and when he looks back his usual mask is back in place. “You need me.”

“And you need me.” I realise just how much of a fool I am and laugh humourlessly. “I thought…” I swipe angrily at a tear; I will not fucking cry. “I’m not naive, Luca, I know who you are.” I tilt my head, eyes searching. “But I thought we had an understanding, I thought tonight…I thought tonight something had shifted, but I really am just a pawn in a game to you. And I’ll never not be that.”

He doesn’t say anything, his eyes cold and dark, and the snippet I saw of Luca earlier has been replaced with the ruthless criminal. And I’m so angry at myself for thinking he, or we, could be anything different.

“I can’t protect you if you’re here.”

“Oh well.” I slam the door.

My heart slams against my ribs, trying to beat its way out, my hands clench and unclench. I hate how he makes me feel. I hate how I can’t hold a coherent thought; I hate that he has such a hold on me. I hate that he makes me want more, I hate that I’m naive to think that this could be anything other than an arrangement.

I hate myself.

I hate it all.

I hate that I have no control.

Dropping my towel, I turn the shower back on, turning the knob as hot as it will go.

31

Luca

I hear the showerturn on and panic engulfs me. I’ve never known anything like it. A deep-rooted fear knowing that Layla is climbing into piping hot water because of me has me grappling with the door.

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