Page 9 of Falling for Grace

Seriously. Danny was right, he really is thick as shit sometimes.

“I get it I do, and I understand why you made the decision you did, well now I do anyway.” A tight smile pulls at my mouth, but I can’t help the sadness that creeps in. I don’t need to revisit our past tonight because it still hurts. “But every time we see each other, we sink back to how things were before. We can’t keep doing it. It’s not healthy. I can’t keep doing it.” I look directly into his beautiful green eyes. “I can’t move on,” I admit quietly.

Fuck, how accurate was that admission.

Because I couldn’t.

It was made worse by the fact that he was with someone else the last time we were together, but we couldn’t keep doing this regardless. I loved him so much it hurt, but he didn’t feel the same way anymore. How could I ever move on if every year I knew I would get my night with Brandon? Every week I would hear his voice, see his face, and we would talk about our lives and our past as though nothing had changed.

When everything has.

A large lump takes up residence in my throat.

“Gracie.”

“No,” I say, holding up my hand. I needed to get these words out. “I loved you so, so much. I still do, if I'm completely honest.” I can see him inhale, his eyes widening. “And I just, I can’t keep doing this every year. When you went to LA, you made the decision to call things off, yes it hurt, but you know what it was absolutely the right decision.” Even though at the time I wanted to throw myself on the floor and have a tantrum. Instead, I just drank a lot of wine and cried and snotted on Danny’s shoulder. I kind of want to do that right now, to be honest.

The tantrum, that is. Instead, I’ll be doing the latter.

“But this,” I say, pointing between us. “This has to stop, because, Brandon, it rips my fucking heart out every single time you leave.”

“And that’s why you left last time? You wanted to be the one to leave?”

I shake my head. “No, it was because you were with someone,” I snap. “You’ve known me long enough to know that I’m not going to be the other woman, ever! You put me in a position you knew never to put me in because of what I went through with my father, and you big fat did it.”

When I was 14 my parents’ marriage completely broke down as my dad got a bit too friendly with one of Mum’s friends. It destroyed my mum, and I hated my dad for what he did to our family. Brandon had been there for me. It was one of the only times in my life I had called him over Danny. The divorce got messy, my father at times violent, and unfortunately for me, I found myself on the end his fist and temper more than once. My father blamed me for his actions because I had ruined his life—my arrival into the world had irrevocably broken his and my mother's relationship, or so he liked to tell me.

A teenager being blamed for his creeping cock.

Having been smack bang in the middle of that, I vowed I would never be the reason for a relationship breakdown, regardless of the circumstance.

And this beautiful bastard made me break that.

“Fuck,” he says, running his hand through his hair again as realisation sinks in. “I didn’t even think about her that night, Grace, I just acted. I always just act with you.” He stands, his huge frame making me feel tiny, my head tilting up to meet his eyes.

“Why does it feel like we’re breaking up all over again?” I say.

“Because in a fucked up way we are,” he replies.

Slowly I head toward the door.

“For what it’s worth, Gracie, I’m truly sorry for putting you in that position. I never meant to do that to you, and I’ll repeat what I’ve told you a thousand times before you were not the reason for your parents relationship breaking down.”

“Shit happens, right? You’re living your dream, and I am so unbelievably proud of you. Maybe in time we can be friends again, but just not at the moment.”

“You’re not leaving, are you?”

“Hell, no!” I say firmly. “It’s Ted’s birthday and you know I have an awesome poker face and, well you’re an actor. For tonight, we pretend everything is fine.”

“But it’s not fine,” he says sadly.

“It will be fine, Brandon. And although it feels like utter shit, you know this is the right thing to do.”

He nods once, and I leave him sitting on the bed. The lump in my throat is back with a vengeance, and tears bite at my eyes.

???

After splashing water on my face and checking that it doesn’t look like I’ve just been crying all over the bathroom sink, I put on my game face and pull open the door.

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