Page 70 of Falling for Grace

“Get showered and dressed and come round when you’re ready.” He brings my hand to his lips and kisses each of my knuckles, then leans over and kisses me gently on my lips. His forehead rests on mine.

“Last night,” he begins.

I close my eyes and shake my head. “Don’t let words ruin it, Brandon. Last night was special, let's just leave it there.”

He kisses me one last time and pulls back, getting to his feet. I stand, too, wrapping the sheet around me and follow him to the door. He opens it onto the quiet corridor, then turns and looks at me. So many things are behind those emerald eyes, and I can see each and every one of them without him having to tell me anything.

“I know,” I say, smiling sadly.

I lean forward and kiss him, my lips fitting over his perfectly.

“I’ll be there soon.” He kisses me gently on my forehead and walks away, leaving me in the empty mess of my hotel room.

I towel dry my hair, pulling my fingers through the dampness. A task I have repeated ten times over since I arrived on Monday. My cheeks are flushed, and I don’t know whether that’s from the piping hot shower or the night I’ve just spent with Brandon. It certainly wasn’t how I thought yesterday was going to end, but I’m glad that it went that way.

I remembered Danny with the one person who loves him as much as I do, and for me that was the perfect way to remember him. Besides, we couldn’t have shared half the stories we would want to have shared with his family, they are way too inappropriate.

I smile, and for the first time it doesn’t feel forced. Although it hurts right now, with time, I will remember Danny with a massive shit-eating grin on my face, even if he can’t give it to me by being here in person.

My phone beeps, bringing be back to the present.

There’s a letter from Danny for you, I’ve given it to reception. We all have one. I’ll come by later. B X

My heart skips a beat as I take in the words. A letter from Danny.

I run to the bedroom, grab the phone and, dialing 0, ask the receptionist to send up the letter. Time ticks slowly as I wait for it to be delivered to my door.

Come on, how fucking long does it take to walk up the stairs?

Aletter from Danny.

It's his suicide letter.

I know it is. It’s the one thing that will help me with closure.

Danny wasn’t selfish. Danny had planned it all out.

I know this without having to even see the letter. He was letting us get through yesterday. There’s a knock at the door and I fling it open, ripping it out of the poor man's hands before shutting the door on him with a rushed “Thanks.”

I place the letter on my pillow and sit on my bed and stare at it. The brown manila envelope stares back. The name Gracie Le Freebush is on the front and I roll my eyes.

Of course he addressed it to my nickname.

The sod.

And I laugh.

I take a huge shuddering breath and rip open the envelope, pulling out paper covered with Danny’s neat handwriting. I haven't even read it yet and I’m balling like a baby.

Gracie Le Free Bush

I got your message! I had to open with that, even though this isn’t going to be the happiest of letters you have ever received from me. I wanted to call you, but I hope that after you read this letter you understand why I didn’t, and why I did what I did.

I know you're pissed. Like really, really pissed at me. I‘ve hurt everyone I love, and that breaks my heart.

I left instructions with a friend to post these on a specific date. I hope they listened, so by now you should have said your goodbyes, and are now wondering how you’ll move on. I hope that this letter will help with that process. This will hit Brandon the hardest. He’ll be beating himself up at being a bad big brother.

He’s going to need you, Gracie, and you’re going to need him, but more importantly, you have to tell him...

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