Page 6 of Falling for Grace

Why? I know exactly why: because I am very much in love with him.

Still.

I’ve loved Brandon Holder since I was fourteen years old. But last year he had put me in an awkward position and after that I made a promise to myself that I would change my habit. Break the cycle.

I decided that it was easier for me to pretend he didn’t exist than continue to pine for him while he’s thousands of miles away making his dreams come true.

So, I severed ties with him.

Why would I torture myself with trying to be in his life when he made the decision that I didn’t fit in it anymore? Except of course I do torture myself, because every single reunion with Brandon Holder he ends up fucking my brains out.

He has ruined me for anyone else.

I gulp my wine and almost sag with relief when Danny appears in the doorway.

“Alright in here?” he asks, glancing between his brother and me. I no doubt look like a flustered mess and am about ready to keel over after this small encounter.

“Nice to see that you’ve got her back over mine. Still,” Brandon mutters as he grabs the towel out of my hands. “This conversation isn’t over, Gracie.” He leans close, his warm face next to mine. His breath is fluttering over my neck and it takes everything in me to stop my body from reacting. I suppress the shiver and the urge to lean in as his lips brush against my ear. “You and me, we are going to finish this conversation—this year, at this family event. I want to know why you have pretended I don’t exist for the last year, because it fucking hurts.”

He steps back and doesn’t look at me as he stalks out of the kitchen, Danny jumping out of his way as he passes.

I fall against the wall, gulping the warm wine.

“Well, what the fuck was all that about?” Danny demands, his arms crossed. “I walk in and he looks like he wants to murder me. And look at you—you’re all flushed.” He grabs the wine and fills my empty glass.

“He called me out,” I state flatly, the shock slowly fading as the wine takes the edge off. “Like legit just called my ass out for ignoring him, ignoring our Sunday calls. He has never done that before Danny. Never.”

“Hmmm.” He watches me as I take another gulp. “He isn’t too smart my brother, is he?” He sips his wine, peering over the top of his glass. “It’s obviously because you love him. Hell, even my dad knows that, and he can barely tie his shoelaces.”

“Okay Danny, not so bloody loud,” I hiss, pulling him away from the doorway. “I don’t need your aunt knowing.”

“Oh, she already knows, baby girl,” he says, winking at me.

I roll my eyes.

“One of these days your eyes are going to get stuck in your head the number of times you do that.”

Sue’s little frame appears in the doorway. “Are we all done in here?”

“What are you referring to, Mum? The awkward sexual tension between your eldest and Gracie here, or the salmon parcels?”

“Danny!” I elbow him in his stomach, and he bends forward on a groan, laughing.

“Well, both, if I’m completely honest.”

Danny lets out a proper belly laugh. “Oh Mother, I do love you.” He wipes at the tears that have pooled at his eyes. “Give her a glass of wine and she becomes bold as brass. No more for you.” He walks past her and plucks the glass out her hand. “Come and join me when you’ve pulled your pants back up, Grace.”

“Oh, for goodness sake.” I sigh. My pants are well and truly in place, thank you very much. Yes, I’m flustered. That was the first time Brandon had ever challenged my behavior. My new strategy. Every time he called, it had taken everything in me not to answer that phone and spend the next four hours talking to him about everything, anything and nothing. It had been our Sunday tradition.

This time last year we spent a fantastic night together. Then I found out that he had a girlfriend and, for the first time ever, I regretted having sex with him. Well, I regretted it more than I usually did. Which sounds ridiculous, because why should I regret it?

To find out that he had a girlfriend and he had still slept with me… I didn’t want to be the other woman, someone he could hook up with when he was in town, then leave me behind which is what I had become to him.

It was Danny who told me.

He had called me, demanding to know where I was, even though he knew that I was in his brother’s bed, where I always woke up after family events. He had sighed and said my name in a way that told me something was wrong. It was almost like he was disappointed, but not at me. He then told me to search for Brandon online and promptly hung up.

So I did the one thing I’d always tried not to do: I googled his name. I had to do everything in my power not to vomit there and then. Brandon was asleep next to me, snoring softly, and I lay there scanning the headlines from two days ago, when Brandon had been seen with his latest squeeze and how it was “love.”

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