Page 28 of Falling for Grace

“No, not deflecting. But Ben you are a virtual stranger to me, I’m not about to open up about all my secrets to you. Besides, some things are best left under the surface,” I poke at the puddle of condensation that has pooled under my pint glass, pushing the water around, unable to take the darkness of his eyes staring at me anymore. I feel his warm hand touch mine stopping it from fiddling, and decide to pluck up the courage to look at him, expecting to see cold eyes and a frowning face, I’m greeted with the complete opposite.

They are warm, and if anything, caring.

“Do you know what a secret is?” he asks. I don’t answer. “They are life's truths hidden beneath the surface. So if you stop and really think about what a secret is, it’s actually just a lie.

Believe it or not, I know about lies and secrets. The one that you carry around with you, the reason why you are a closed book to everyone, including Theresa. They are a cancer to the soul. They eat away at what is good and leave only destruction behind.”

“You are making the assumption that I have a secret about Brandon Holder. And you know what they say about assumptions, Ben… Can I get past please?” I ask, getting to my feet. Ben is drunk, I can see it and clearly projecting. Which makes me wonder what the hell he’s hiding.

“Grace, I didn’t mean to, we were just talking–”

“No, it's fine. I just want to pop to the ladies.” I wait until he moves out the way.

“Do you want another drink?” he asks.

I nod, but I can feel the start of a prickle behind my eyes. “Same again, please.”

I remain in the safety of the booth as Ben walks towards the bar, then I stand and pretend to head towards the ladies, at the last minute doubling back to the exit. Pushing through the crowd of people and into the damp Houston air. I look up at the dark sky and take a cleansing breath, willing my racing heart to calm down.

It’s in the past. I’m safe. It’s over.

I pull out my phone and text Theresa, telling her I’ll meet her at the condo. Then I turn and grab a taxi from the rank outside and run away like the complete and utter coward I am.

Chapter 10

The room is spinning. Oh, God, the room is spinning.

I’m lying on our bathroom floor holding onto the toilet for dear life. Hoping that curling my body round it and holding on will help anchor me to the floor, because I’m physically spinning, right?

Okay, I’m not, that was overly dramatic, but I feel like it.

Everytime I shut my eyes, it’s like my whole body lifts off the floor and spins round and round and round.

Oh, God.

I’m going to be sick. Thank God I’m by the toilet.

I expel the contents of my stomach into the white porcelain, squeezing my eyes shut as the tequila, beer and vodka make a reappearance, burning my insides on their upward journey.

I’m going to kill Theresa tomorrow.

My phone is ringing. I can hear it ringing, but the floor is so cold and nice and comfy on my face. The room has stopped spinning.

Yay, the room.

My arms feel like lead. Someone must have tied bricks to my hands. I sloppily rummage in my bag which is just within arms reach and retrieve my phone, changing my position round the toilet. Squinting my eyes, I try to make out the name that is illuminated brightly in the darkened bathroom.

Theresa.

I’ve had a missed call from Theresa.

I’ll call her back…

Why hasn’t Danny called me back…?

I miss Danny and I miss Brandon.

“Call Danny,” I say to myself, smiling. “I’m going to call my Danny. I miss my Danny. Danny, Danny, Danny.” I giggle.

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