Page 19 of Falling for Grace

I’m not sure how long I’ve sat here staring, watching the water go along its journey with no purpose, just persistence. Slowly eroding away the rocks.

The initial shock has diminished, and I’m left feeling strangely empty. Empty is such a strange word when I think I’m anything but empty. I have a child growing in me, after all.

Life.

I am full of life.

What a mess.

I’m 24. I thought I would be married and when I got pregnant, it would be planned. I would be happy. I didn’t think I would be single, that it would be Brandon’s and, dare I say it, a mistake. I’m not ready to be a mother. I’m not prepared for this.

So here I sit, swinging back and forth like a pendulum.

Do I keep it, do I get rid of it, do I keep it, do I terminate.

What a horrible word.

Terminate.

So final.

It’s not just your decision.

But would it be fair to tell Brandon? He’s living his dream and he’s made it clear that I’m not part of that dream, that life.

I couldn’t do that to him.

Do you ever get that feeling like you’re being watched?

The feeling washes over me so suddenly that I open my window, the hum of the electric filling the deafening silence.

“No matter what the situation, you always end up here,” Danny says, looking down at me as he leans against the passenger window. He looks at the surrounding scenery.

My spot.

A car park overlooking the River Thames.

It’s busy, cars coming and going, but the river and watching the people go about their business calms me.

“I waited for you to call. Figured after six hours passed something big was going on, and I needed to come find you.”

I look at him, not saying anything, just wondering how the hell this conversation is going to go.

“You going to tell me what’s going on?”

He pushes himself away from the door and walks around the back of my car to the passenger side. I unlock the door. Danny folding his frame into the car and closes the door.

“Fuck me, you wouldn’t think it was sodding August. It’s bloody cold out there.” He gets comfy. “Jesus, Gracie, you look like someone killed your puppy. Come here.” I don’t attempt to push him away. I let him grab me and pull me into his warm embrace and I fall apart.

“I fucked up, Danny,” I say between heaving sobs. “I really fucked up and I don’t know what to do.” He hushes me and holds me to him, rubbing my back soothingly.

“Just calm down, we can talk it through and work it out. Nothing is unfixable.”

“This is.” I take a huge breath and pull back. “But I can’t tell you, Danny. I can’t.” He searches my face, then reaches into his back pocket. He pulls out the pregnancy test and places it between us.

“You don’t have to tell me anything, baby girl. I already know.”

My hands shoot up to my face and shake my head in despair. Of course, he would go into the house and look for the cause of my meltdown. I should have taken the test with me.

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