Page 58 of Waiting on You

“I’m nowhere near ready for that,” Valerie says, shaking her head. “I thought when Nate became CEO, I’d move up as COO and be trained by him. I don’t want to step into that position and fail.”

“Then, we’ll have to bring someone on board.” Dustin sighs.

“But it’s always been a family-owned and -run company,” Valerie points out, making my heart sink.

“What choice do we have?” He pulls his wife into his arms. “In order for Nate to be with Paige, he has to move there.”

“But he’s worked so hard, and he was so close to becoming CEO. Where will hework?”

“I don’t know.” Dustin shakes his head. “And it sucks. I mean, he’s busted his ass to make this company what it is. But I get it—if I had to choose between you and my job, I’d choose you every damn time.” He kisses her softly, and she sighs into him. “All we can do is support his decision. He’s going to work remotely for the time being, and we’ll figure it out as we go. You know Nate. He wouldn’t leave the company hanging.”

“He must be devastated,” Valerie murmurs. “I hate this for him.”

Tears prick my eyes at their words. At the fact that I’m causing this because of my own insecurities. I want to support Nate and move to Dallas so he doesn’t have to leave everything and everyone he loves behind, but I can’t do it. I can’t give up my entire life and move to Dallas. What happens if we don’t work out? Then, I’m left with nothing. I’ve put so many people first, and I was left with nothing every single time. I hate that he’s in this position, but I can’t put him first.

Which only leaves one option…

We need to end whatever this is between us and focus on raising our baby together. It sucks that we’ll have to co-parent long-distance, but it’s done all the time. We’ll figure it out.

I step outside since I have nowhere else to go and I don’t want Dustin and his wife to know I overheard. I’m about to have a seat back at the table where I was sitting before when Nate calls my name.

“Come in the pool,” he says with a smile, swimmingto the edge. “The water’s nice.”

I consider saying no, but the last thing I want is to draw attention to myself in front of his entire family. Nate won’t stop until I tell him what’s wrong, and at his family’s home, in the middle of his dad’s birthday barbecue, is not the place to have this conversation.

We need to get through this weekend, and then once we’re back in Rosemary, I’ll tell him that I’ve made the decision to keep things between us strictly about the baby.

We’ll finalize the Kingston-Bradford collaboration, and then he’ll go back to Dallas with his family and his job, and we’ll figure out how to co-parent long-distance.

“Paige,” Nate yells again. “You going to come in, or do I have to come and get you?”

Several people chuckle, their eyes on me, so I nod and stand.

“I’m coming,” I tell him, forcing a smile onto my face.

I take my cover-up off and fix my newly purchased maternity bathing suit. I’m still on the smaller side, but my belly has popped, and I now officially look pregnant as opposed to bloated. I went with a two-piece, hoping it will give my belly room to grow since the summer in Texas is hot and we spend a lot of time in the water.

As I walk over to the pool, Nate gives me his full attention, his eyes alight with lust, mixed with love, and my stomach knots because Nate loves me. He’s attracted to me. He not only wants me, but he alsowants this baby.

A little over four months ago, I walked in on my boyfriend having sex with my friend, and I questioned if I was enough. If I was pretty enough, good enough in bed, enough to be loved. Yet every time I’m around Nate, he does nothing but show me just howenoughI am.

To my ex, I was one woman in a room filled with many others. But when Nate looks at me, it’s like I’m the only woman in the room.

And despite how he makes me feel, I can’t have him because it’s not fair to either of us. He might be willing to give up everything to be with me, but I’m not going to let him do that.

When I get to the bottom step, Nate encircles his arms around me, and I wrap my legs around his torso. The backyard is filled with well over fifty people, but when I’m with Nate, it feels like everyone else disappears and it’s just us.

“I love this,” he says once we’re in the middle of the water.

“What?” I run my fingers through his wet hair, trying to memorize everything about him. I only just got him back, and I’m already going to have to give him up.

“The feel of your stomach against mine.” He grins. “I read that the baby will start kicking soon. I can’t wait to feel him or her.”

He presses his lips to mine, and I sigh into him.

“What else did you read?” I ask curiously. I didn’t even know he’d been looking up stuff about the baby and my pregnancy. Imagining him googling pregnancy questions makes me smile on the inside.

“A lot of stuff.” He shrugs. “Like, at twenty weeks, we can find out the sex.” He grins. “What do you think? Should we find out?”

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