Page 1 of Waiting on You

prologue

PAIGE

Fourteen Years Old

“You can’t give up,”Dad yells on the other side of their bedroom door.

It’s closed, so they don’t know I’m here. I wasn’t supposed to be home for another two hours, but Mrs. Simmons got food poisoning and had to cancel math club.

“What the hell am I supposed to do without you?” he asks.

“I’ve tried,” my mom cries, her voice raspy and weak. “But I can’t do it anymore. I need you to not fight me on this. My time is limited, and I want to spend it with you and Paige.”

“You’re asking me to sit back and just let you die!” Dad argues. “You can’t ask me to do that! That’s not fair.”

Ever since Mom found out that she has cancer, Dad has been extra nice to her. He’s even stopped moving us all over, choosing to stay in Londonbecause Mom said this city makes her happy.

She’s been fighting the cancer for a long time now, but from what they’re saying, it sounds like it isn’t getting any better and Mom is going to stop her treatments. I don’t know a lot about cancer, but I know that the treatments make her sick and miserable, but without them, she’ll die, which is apparently what she wants to do.

“No,” Mom says. “I’m asking you to understand that I’m choosing to enjoy the time I have left with the people I love.”

“Paige is going to be devastated,” Dad says, his tone filled with emotion. “She needs you.”

He’s not lying. My mom is my best friend, and I can’t imagine my life without her. She gets along with my friends and boyfriend, and everyone loves her. She’s the person I go to when I’m having a bad day. She listens and never goes allmomon me the way a lot of my friends’ moms do.

Every weekend, holiday break, and even many afternoons after school, we explore together. I hate moving, but she’s always made it a fun adventure, and because of her, I have already experienced so much that the world has to offer. She can take the simplest of things and turn it into something magical.

“She’ll be okay,” Mom chokes out. “She has you. And when I’m gone, you will have each other.”

No, I won’t be okay,I think, but don’t voice out loud.I need you to fight. I need you to want to live for me. Don’tyou want to keep making new memories with me? Our latest scrapbook isn’t finished yet. There are so many pages that need to be filled. I need you, Mom!

“Damn it, Finley!” Dad barks, making me jump. I’ve never heard him raise his voice to my mom, let alone yell at her like that. “This isn’t what I wanted! What the hell am I supposed to do with a teenage girl? You need to fight!” he says, as if plucking the words straight from my head. “She needsyou!”

“She will haveyou!” Mom sobs.

“I didn’t ask for this,” Dad hisses, and even though I should be focused on my mom choosing to die, his confession has me taking in his words.

“Youwanted this,” he continues. “The family, thebaby.I told you that I was scared that I wasn’t cut out for that type of life, but you told me you would be by my side. That we would do this together. You wantedher.And now, you’re going to abandon her instead of fighting for your life…for her. You’re going to leave me, and I’ll have to raise her on my own. That’s not what was supposed to happen!”

“That’s not fair,” Mom cries, her sobs getting louder as my heart cracks in my chest. “I can’t fight anymore. I’m too tired and weak, and I don’t want to spend what’s left of my life fighting. I just want to be happy for the little bit of time I have left.”

Oh my God…

My mom is going to leave me.

My dad never wanted me.

Where does that leave me?

I’ve always been closer with my mom, but I thought it was because my dad works long hours. He’s a pilot, and he’s gone a lot while my mom doesn’t work and has always been home with me, so it makes sense that Mom and I are closer. But I never knew that my dad didn’t want me. He’s older than my mom by twelve years. She always jokes that he’s an old man, and he always says she has a thing for older men.

He was between flights when they met at a bar, and they hit it off. Within a few weeks, they were married, and soon after, I came along. I once asked Mom why I didn’t have any siblings, and she said I was so perfect that they didn’t want any more kids. But now, it sounds like it’s because my dad gave in to her wanting me despite him not wanting to have a family.

I think back to all our memories, the birthdays, the family trips. My dad has told me more times than I can count that he loves me and is proud of me.

Was it all a lie?

When I get back to my room, I close my door softly so they don’t know I’m home, and I bury my face into my pillow as I cry.

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