Page 16 of Promise Me Forever

Well, one reason is that Amelia’s no fun at all when compared with her alter ego. Scarlet has all the good times, all the orgasms. Amelia got stuck with a vague sense of discomfort as she was driven home by a stranger after spending the night with his boss. Amelia felt tacky and disappointed and a tiny bit cheap, even though she knew she had no reason to.

“Tell me everything,” Kimmy says, her eyes twinkling at me from across the table crowded with empty cocktail glasses. “I missed the wedding of the century last night because of work, and for once, it sounds like you’ve got some top-shelf tea. If I have to sit in this shit heap, you’re going to spill it all.”

“This isn’t a shit heap.” As I say it, I take stock of my surroundings and have to admit that the place is a bit rough around the edges. Despite being new, it still shows signs of the dive bar it was in a past life, and the waiter looked horrified when we ordered cosmos. Nobody has been by to collect our glasses, and the music being pumped out of the speakers sounds like a suicide playlist. “Okay, fair point. It’s not great. But it’s good to support new businesses, and we can’t all live in swanky apartments on the Upper East Side.”

“Girl, I was just giving you shit. I don’t care where we are. I grew up the same place you did, so you know I’m not a princess. And stop trying to change the subject. Time to tell me everything. You said there was a guy. I’ve been waiting years to hear there was a guy. Who was he, and how good was the sex? On a scale of one to ten?”

I sigh and bite back the huge grin that wants to take over my whole face. “On a scale of one to ten, it was like… a million. Kimmy, he was so hot! I mean, I don’t want to sound like?—”

“Me?”

“Yeah. But he was so hot, he could blister your skin just with a look. So hot he makes Death Valley seem cool. So hot you could fry eggs on his abs.”

“So hot he melted your panties off?” Clearly fascinated, she’s leaning forward now, her chin balanced on her steepled fingers. This is, after all, her favorite subject.

“Exactly that hot. I was sitting at an empty table at the back of the reception, and he just… appeared. Like some benevolent god decided to give me a break and sent Mr. Fire and Ice to seduce me. I still don’t know what came over me. It’s not like me at all.”

She shrugs. “What came over you is called being a woman, Amelia—a woman with needs. You’ve ignored them for way too long, and you spent years married to that selfish asshole. I’m guessing he wouldn’t recognize a clitoris if it was wearing a T-shirt that had ‘here I am, clit this way’ written on it in neon letters.”

I open my mouth to object, to defend Chad and his bedroom skills. But she’s absolutely right, and why the hell should I stick up for him? I owe him no loyalty at all, and besides, he was awful in bed. I never knew how awful until now because I had nothing to compare it to, but Chad does not come off well in that comparison. One night with Drake made me understand exactly how bad my married sex life was.

“Maybe you’re right. But having a spectacular one-night stand doesn’t mean I’m going to be living like that from now on.”

“Well, that’s disappointing.” She tilts her head and pouts at me. “I was hoping we’d get to have some fun together. There are two guys behind you who are definitely checking us out. They look like they’re in a band, which in my experience means they’re probably self-obsessed and have a tenuous relationship with personal hygiene, but hey, I have a generous spirit when it comes to love. We could go chat with them. Expand your number of lovers to a staggering three?”

The fact that I made it to my thirties having only slept with Chad is a source of constant amazement to her. “I don’t think so. I’m just not made like you.”

“More’s the pity. I have no shame—I enjoy sex and plan to have it with as many people as I can before I reach the stage where I need hip replacements and adult diapers.”

“Knowing you, you’ll still be on the prowl. Nobody in that day center will be safe.”

“This is true. But seriously, babe, didn’t this one magnificent night with a world-class sex god change your mind? There are other men out there, you know. Men who might be just as good in the sack.”

I blush, remembering exactly how good he was in the sack. And on the table. And the floor. He made me feel things I’ve never known before, and it seems crazy to think that I could win the sex jackpot like that again.

It’s enticing, but it would be reckless, and I have other, more important things to concentrate on in my life right now. It’s not all about chasing orgasms. I can give myself orgasms, even if they are tiny and kinda pathetic compared to the way Drake made me come. Gusts of wind as opposed to a hurricane. It has also occurred to me that I might not have the right temperament for this casual sex thing, because I haven’t stopped thinking about him all day.

“I don’t think so. I’m glad I met him and that I finally let go of some of my inhibitions and went a little wild. I’m glad he brought out that side of me, because it does seem ridiculous to have reached my age and never have had a one-night stand. But it’s not something I’m going to keep repeating. I can’t imagine it would be anything but a letdown with someone else, anyhow, and besides… it wasn’t entirely casual. There were feelings involved.”

“Ugh,” she says, shuddering. “Feelings? I hate those. They get in the way. Tell your Auntie Kimmy all about them, though, sweetheart.”

“I felt like… like we connected. Before the sex, we talked for hours. It was kind of like a confessional, you know? Soul sharing?”

“I don’t know, no, I’m glad to say. But I do know that stuff matters to most women. You’re sure he wasn’t just turning on the charm to get into your panties?”

I bite my lip and think about it. “You could be right, but I don’t think so. This guy… He’s not the kind of guy who needs to work that hard. He could get into pretty much any panties he liked with nothing but a smile. No, I think it was real. And we, uh, cuddled. After the sex.”

She finishes her drink, her eyes wide over the rim of the glass. “You cuddled? Girl, that is one of the saddest things I’ve ever heard.”

“No it’s not! And we only cuddled after we had super-hot animal sex, all right? And after I came four times.” I whisper that last part, glancing nervously around the bar before I drop my voice even lower. “And then we did it again this morning, on the breakfast table.”

“Oooh, now I’m interested. Did he do that hot thing where he swept everything off beforehand?”

I laugh, because that’s exactly what he did. It was insanely hot at the time, and it still makes me throb a little down below when I think about it. “Yep. He did.”

“So, how did you leave it? Did you swap numbers? Did you make him a friendship bracelet?”

I roll my eyes but don’t take it personally. She takes nothing seriously unless she absolutely has to. “We didn’t swap numbers, no. He was… He was different by the time I left.”

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