Page 26 of Lonely Heart

Relief swept in, the tension leaving my body, and I enjoyed the rest of my time with Ava.

Two days later,I was elbows deep in my new hobby when my phone rang.

My sister’s name popped up on the display. I set down the colored pencil and answered her call. “Hello?”

“Hey, Ivy. What’s going on?”

“Not much. What are you up to?” I returned.

“Well, I was just wondering if you wanted to meet me for lunch this afternoon?”

I would have loved nothing more than to spend some time with my sister. But the last thing I wanted to do was leave this house to go anywhere that wasn’t work. “Um, I… I appreciate the invite, but I think I’m going to stay in today.”

“Oh.” I couldn’t miss the disappointment in her voice. “Are you busy?”

“No. No, I can talk, if you want. I’m just not up for going out today.”

“Okay. Well, maybe we can plan for tomorrow,” she suggested.

Damn it. I should have expected she’d press for a new date when I declined her initial invite. “I don’t think so.”

“Do you already have plans for tomorrow?” she asked.

“No.”

There was a long pause, and I swore I could hear her mind racing through the line. “So, you don’t have plans, but you’re also not interested in grabbing lunch with me? That doesn’t sound like you.”

Jules was so bubbly, the picture-perfect image of what it meant to be a great sibling, and I was the opposite. I always had been the tougher of the two of us when it came to confrontation.

That’s why I wasn’t surprised by how I reacted to her. “No, Jules, I’m not interested in grabbing lunch with you. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not any time soon. I’m home, and I don’t want to go anywhere until I need to head back to work on Monday. That’s it.”

“Are you… are you okay?”

Great.

I’d just yelled at my sweet sister because I couldn’t get a grip on myself and all that was bothering me.

“I’m fine,” I assured her, trying to rein in the frustration I felt. “I just… I feel like I’m constantly being questioned about whether I’m okay when I’ve already made it clear that nothing is wrong. I should be allowed to decline an invite for lunch without it being some red flag.”

The silence stretched between us, my heart aching at how I’d just spoken to Jules.

“I’m sorry,” she murmured. “I just thought it’d be nice for us to spend some time together and talk. If you don’t want that, it’s fine. I love you, Ivy. And you’ve been on my mind. I just want to know that you’re okay after everything that’s happened. That’s all I wanted. And I’m sorry for pointing out something that seems out of character. You never turn down lunch with me, so I thought I’d press you just to be sure you’re alright.”

“Jules, I?—”

“It’s fine,” she insisted. “Honestly, don’t worry about it. If you need time alone, take it. I’m here whenever you’re ready. I’ll talk to you later.”

Jules didn’t give me a chance to respond.

And I could tell by the shakiness in her tone that she was on the verge of tears.

I hadn’t meant to lash out at her like I did. I didn’t know how to share the truth of how I really felt. Meeting her somewhere meant that I’d have to go out on my own. And she’d be out on her own. Even if we went together, I didn’t think it was worth the risk.

She was my little sister. I’d never want her to experience what I had, and if I could stop that from happening by declining her invite, then that’s what I had to do.

I looked down at the colored pencils.

I hated coloring.

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