No.
A resounding no, in fact.
Or possibly even a hell fucking no.
“Maverick already mentioned giving you other work to do. If anyone knows how hard it is to sit at a desk all day, it’s our boss.”
“And I appreciate it, but how long before I get bored altogether? The only job that has ever held my interest was cuddling the babies. I doubt that’s an opportunity here. I don’t even think there is a hospital close by.”
I guess that depended on what she considered close.
“There’s one in the city about thirty minutes from here.”
Annalee appeared to be giving my answer some consideration. “Not a horrible commute but there’s no guarantee they will have that kind of position available.”
There had to be more than just the job bothering her. I pushed my bowl away so I could rest my elbows on the table and give her my full attention.
“Tell me what’s really bothering you?”
Annalee sighed but mimicked my position. She didn’t shy away when she answered. “I’ve always been prone to impulsivity but it never bothered me before. I had a roof over my head, money in my bank account, and a father there if I screwed something up. Now I have none of those things and it’s sending me into a panic. I don’t have one single thing to make me feel like maybe I have a shot of being in control again.”
Now I got it. As someone who valued control, I understood exactly how she was feeling. I pushed my chair back and raised to my feet.
“Come on, let’s take this conversation inside where we can both be more comfortable.” I offered her my hand.
“We can’t just leave the food out here. An animal will come along and steal it.”
I didn’t care what happened to the food, but if cleaning up made her feel better, then that was what we would do.
I helped bring in the bowls and plates. I tried to set them in the sink to be dealt with later but Annalee wouldn’t hear of it. She took the meaning of cleaning up after herself to the extreme. It wasn’t until the entire kitchen was clean from dinner that we were allowed to sit and relax on the couch in the living room.
“Talk to me. Are you regretting coming to Willow Creek?”
She took a deep breath and I had a feeling she was prepping herself to tell me she didn’t want to be here anymore. I wasn’t sure what I would do if that was the case. It didn’t feel right letting her go back to Baton Rouge on her own.
“I don’t regret it.”
“But . . .”
There was absolutely a but at the end of that statement.
“But I need control in my life. I need to know that this is going to work out. I’ve always had that safety net and now I don’t. I don’t regret coming here, per se, but the out-of-control feeling is taking away from the beauty of this place.”
We were facing each other on the couch. Annalee was doing a good job twisting the crap out of the bottom of her shirt, so I grabbed her hand and gave her something else to do with her hands. I guided her so that we were tracing patterns around each other’s fingers.
“So tell me what needs to happen for you to feel like you have a say in your life again.”
I would give her anything she wanted but I wasn’t about to tell her that. I doubted she was ready to hear those words and I didn’t need to give her more of a reason to run.
Annalee laughed but it wasn’t the good kind. She sounded seconds away from crying, and if there was one thing I didn’t handle well, it was crying women. No amount of sisters made that easier for me.
“I need Dennis and Seraphina to back off. I don’t need my father’s money but the fact that he was so adamant they didn’t have it is reason enough for me to keep fighting them. I thought my father’s death meant they would be out of my life for good, but they’re even worse now. Maybe once they’re out of the picture I can focus on me and what I want. Willow Creek is beautiful but again I need to know that I can make a life here and be happy. It will never be enough for me to live off someone else’s money even if that person was my mother.”
Mav was going to kill me for saying this but I was going to do it anyway.
“If you need me to make you a list of places to work within thirty minutes, I will. Bee is always hiring. She doesn’t post it but I know her granddaughter would love the help. There’s an assisted-living place opening up in a few months. I’m sure they will be looking to hire. Hell, there’s even an empty storefront a few shops up from our place. You could open your own place. The options are truly unlimited if you don’t want to keep working with us.”
The more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea of her not working for Maverick. I wouldn’t feel so guilty about the feelings I harbored for her.