Page 36 of Lesson on Depravity

A choked whimper and a single tear roll down my cheek. I brush it away with a rough nudge with the back of my hand. “That’s not fair!”

He refutes, “Life isn’t fair, Coco.”

Obedience is upsetting, it’s numbing, and it’s the only thing he demands from me. He has given me a choice, but everyone would agree that it’s not a choice. It’s a test whether I would choose the right one. The answer Daddy wants me to choose because it’s not my free will that matters; it’s his control and the power he has on me.

A deep breath and a shuddering breath, my voice abandons the fight in my heart. “I—can I stay with you?”

I will always choose Daddy.

He sighs, shaking his head and running his hand through my hair. The brown strands fall and tangle between his thick fingers as he pushes me to him, and I’m powerless to stop him.

“You are such a naive girl. I spoiled you too much. Even if you choose differently, I wouldn’t have let you go. I’d hate to break your legs, but I don’t like causing you pain. Chains will do.”

Daddy leans back, the bed creaks, but it’s the rattling that echoes the loudest. The chains attached to the hardwood floor with my experience attached to the dried blood on the cuffs.

I still remember the day I tried to leave, and Daddy hadn’t been able to convince me that there was a dangerous gang out on the street trying to gain control of his territory. I was going to get hurt, and he had clipped the chain on me for a week, breaking down my humanity and my spirit to leave his bedroom.

Never again, my mind whispers. Never again will I put myself into that vulnerable situation again.

He had said to me with chains around my ankle, stood over me with a demonic presence reeking through those savage dark eyes: “Behave, and Daddy will treat you well.”

“No chains, Daddy, please?” I beg him.

His kindness doesn’t extend that far today as he ignores my question and let the paranoia rot in my head—successfully splintering my confidence.

“What have you learned, little pet?”

The affection mingling with the nickname from my earlier days makes me flinch. The degrading and cruel mirth in my head feeds foul memories of where I belong at the beginning of our time together.

I wet my lips. “You know me the best.”

“And?” He pressures, unrelenting with a smile.

“Everyone’s bad. Only you are good to me, and I don’t want to leave again.” It’s as if I’m being automated. The words have slipped out flawlessly with a trained tone because, in a way, I have been trained and brainwashed by Daddy.

“Good girl.”

I don’t feel any different having that point being made clear to me. I like it more because my life has a routine, an order to the chaotic life on the street. I never thought being controlled and under the care of anyone would benefit me, but I’m wrong.

Being with Daddy means there will be hard times, but he never purposely makes my life difficult. The strings he pulls from behind me are there to help me and steer my resolve into the stiffness of iron.

It’s growth that I ultimately receive from his lessons. I’m thankful for him because he had shown me even the nicest people have ulterior motives. Jessabelle was never ‘nice’ to begin with; it was just lies upon lies through a web of manipulation for her own sociopathic entertainment.

She had the last laugh. No one can argue that, but I’m glad I won't ever see her again. Mrs. Curtis was right; it was a bad idea for me to venture out of the city.

I don’t regret it either. I want to continue working at my job because I have made a friend for the first time in my life, and I’m using my hardworking hours to make my own money.

Jessabelle is a blessing in disguise with a very twisted turn of events.

“I never trusted that woman, princess.” Daddy’s thump drags down my bottom lip. “I don’t trust easily, but that woman was suspicious from the beginning.”

“So, you did know… about what she was going to do to me.” My voice trails off, but I can’t blame him.

He doesn’t deny it as he explains, “There were things that seemingly didn’t make sense. Javier’s disappearance, Xavier’s role as the new boss, her appearance, the raid in Xavier’s warehouse, and the tip that lead the police to your work building that so happened to have a chemical attack?”

“You think she planned all of that?” I gasp in shock. Even Javier?

I knew Jessabelle was smart because she had wormed her way into my guarded heart and messed up my life that I had just begun to build back up with Daddy. I didn’t peg her as the mastermind to a bigger plan, and I’m not sure whether it’s to get back at me when she can’t get to my mother or if it’s for the sake of her bored, rich housewife life.

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