Page 20 of Dream Girl

I shake my head and hush him with a smile. The dread in his brown eyes etches and begins to fracture for me to see the utterly vulnerable man with a fear of me leaving him because he’s a monster that will eventually let his demons take control and hurt me beyond repair.

“You don’t have to tell me anything, Milo.” My voice is full of honesty and patience for him.

“In fact, you aren’t obligated to tell me anything you have said in therapy. They are for you to get better, and I won’t leave you just because you won’t share your secrets with me.”

I want to bring this massive man to a place where no violence can be a threat to us, but I’m not strong enough to make that come true, so I do what I can. “You won’t lose me, and you don’t have to overcompensate by spilling everything to me.”

“I want to.” He grinds his teeth, eyes glaring at the bruise around my neck. “I want to tell you, but I need time. Not now—I just need time.”

I know. I know he will make it there with time.

“I’ll always be here.”

Chapter Six

Milo

I would never miss Christmas. This holiday is for Amelia, and I want her to have good memories to be associated with the holiday.

The face she makes when I open my eyes on Christmas morning is worth the pain that I went through with guilt yesterday. It was worth the remorse that I felt when I woke up with my hand around her neck, and it was worth everything when I opened up to Doctor Fulton and sheltered myself in Eddie’s home.

“It’s Christmas!” she squeals, bouncing on my stomach while she shakes me awake.

“It’s been Christmas for the last ten hours,” I groan and eye the clock on the nightstand.

I didn’t go to sleep until four in the morning because I couldn’t trust myself to not have that incident again. I know my body better than anyone, and the typical time for the nightmares to come is when two in the morning strikes.

Without fail, I would wake up in cold sweats and a twisted heart at two in the morning with Amelia sleeping peacefully next to me. She should never have to be afraid to be in her own bed, but with a monster like me holding her, it’s a nightmare in itself.

I could have hurt her all those nights, but I never did until that unforgivable incident. Forgiveness is not there when I reflect on my actions. I will never forgive myself for putting my hand on her, bruising her tender skin, and calling myself her protector when I was the one that broke a part of our relationship.

We were going strong, and one thing destroyed the process. Amelia has forgiven me; she always does because I’m a bastard that can’t do anything right.

“There can only be one Grinch, and you’re not it.” She lifts a finger and shakes it with a bright smile. I don’t deserve her beauty or anything from her, but she gives and gives without asking anything in return.

“I’m qualified to be one,” I reply with a sigh, palming her bare thighs and a flash of her bruises catches my eyes.

I snatch my hands back, fisting them in the bedsheet and holding back a growl of frustration. If I can delete those memories, then I’d do it in a heartbeat. However, I wouldn’t know that I’m more than capable of hurting her and this is the lesson that I will take to my grave.

Amelia takes them back and places them where they were, but my hands are clammy and tense as I try not to move my hand from her thighs. I want to squeeze them, bring her down, and kiss her pink lips and tell her how much I love her.

“I can see it,” she says, humming and nodding when she caresses my jaw. “Hairy, yes, very hairy.”

I narrow my eyes, warning her to not finish her thought when her brown eyes playfully curve. Her white teeth sink into her plump bottom lip, and the mischievous smile tells me she isn’t heeding my warning.

“My gorilla.”

On instinct, my hand shoots up from her thigh to her waist. My fingers dig into her soft skin; I move them accordingly to avoid her arms from closing on my target. Her burst of giggles starts off small before it turns her body into a squirming mess while she falls on top of me.

When I put more pressure on her sides, her laughter turns into a wheezing plea for mercy. Her shuddering breath and tears smear on my naked chest, furthering her weak strength to get away from me.

“I-I’m sorry!” Amelia yelps, laughing breathlessly. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, sorry!”

She begins having trouble breathing, and I stop, but it’s the gradualness that still maintains her laughter through another five minutes. Amelia sags against me, huffing and whining at the clear disadvantage of her home base because I was stronger and much faster than her puny little arms.

“You don’t play fair.”

I hum, following the ceiling’s squares with my eyes as her breathing evens out. Wrapping my arms around her, I bring her body closer to mine as she grunts at the air knocked out of her lungs.

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