Page 19 of Dream Girl

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, “I’m sorry. I hurt you. I promised you that I would never hurt you, but I broke that promise.”

He slowly lifts his head, towering over me and keeping an upsurge of guilt in his eyes. I raise a hand, caressing his cheek and smiling to disarm that mindset of his. His eyes would drop to the bruises around my neck, and his jaw would clench in response.

“Milo,” I whisper back, “I always knew that there was a chance this would happen.”

His expression closes off. I shake my head at him. I need him to understand where we are at right now since I know this man will let his thoughts consume him.

“I know you would never intentionally hurt me.” I lean up and press a chaste kiss to his cheek, but his frozen state continues for another minute.

“My coworkers had warned me about you, saying that you’re unstable and you will hurt me one day because I was trusting.”

They were being considerate and worried about me since we have become friends over the months that I had worked there. Milo has always been the one that they were wary of because of his unstable condition from the post-traumatic stress disorder.

It’s a condition that has clues for everyone to pick up.

“I will never regret trusting you, and I still don’t. I know you did bad things in your past, but that’s not you anymore.”

“I hurt you,” he tries to argue, pointing out the evidence on my neck with solemnness breathing in his voice.

“You said it yourself; you were in survival mode.” I rub the frown on the corner of his lips. “You are the kindest man I know, always trying to help and putting me first—but I’m okay. I’ll be alright because you’re with me.”

“Amelia…” Milo is still struggling with himself. I know that there are only a certain number of things that I can do to help him and telling him that may not be enough to push away the demons in his heart.

I’ll be damned if I don’t try my hardest.

“I don’t want you to worry about me.”

“I can’t.”

I expect that. I’m not going to let another piece of Milo be ruined and destroyed by the remnants of his memories.

“I want you to put yourself first—before me, and before anyone else.”

Milo has put me first before his health for years, and it’s enough. I cannot stand here with the love of my life falling in despair, suffering in silence and unable to find one place of support. It hurts me that he can’t confide in me about what is haunting him, but I wish he would tell me that he needs help.

“I can’t do that,” he murmurs, hand clamping down on mine and leaning against my touch. “I can’t put myself first knowing that I will hurt you.”

I shake my head. “You won’t.”

“I already did.”

The soreness in my throat comes back in irregular intervals as I feel the throb turning into a cough that I suppress.

“You were dreaming, in a nightmare where you wanted to live, and I understand that. I want you to live even when you’re in a nightmare, and I want you to do your best to come back to me, even if it means hurting me.”

He snarls, his eyes dangerously dark and anger seeping through his expression. The stoic man disappears, leaving behind a depraved animal unable to understand me.

“Then I don’t want to come back. I don’t want to get better if you’re going to be harmed.”

I smile, seeing his conviction and determination while still focusing on not crushing my hand. “You can’t learn and better yourself if you don’t experience pain to bring you out of your comfort zone.”

He’s torn as he speaks, “Amelia. Don’t ask me that. Don’t ask me to hurt you.”

“I’m not asking you to. I just want you to take care of yourself and get better.”

“I’m trying, I really am.” A hint of desperation and self-loathing bleeds into his voice as he clenches his hand with mine.

“I went to Eddie’s; I was so afraid because I hurt you—”

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