Page 51 of Bully Alpha's Secret Baby

Guilt is a damn heavy thing. It sinks into your bones, sets up camp, and makes itself at home until it’s all you can feel.

That’s where I am right now—drowning in it. Every time I close my eyes, I see Patrick’s lifeless body, feel the weight of his death pressing down on my chest like a boulder. If I’d been stronger, if I’d practiced more, maybe I could’ve saved him.

Maybe. But maybes don’t change anything, do they?

The exhaustion? That’s a whole other beast. Every day, I push myself harder. Forcing magic to come when it doesn’t want to, trying to get stronger, faster. The thought of another demon showing up while I’m not ready keeps me up at night, and I’m paying the price for it. My hands shake, my vision blurs at times, and Penny’s questions are getting harder to answer.

And yet, through it all, Damien’s there. Picking up the pieces I leave behind like he’s some kind of walking glue stick, holding my shattered edges together.

“You’ve got to rest, Jade,” Damien says for the hundredth time today as he enters the room with Penny on his hip. “You can’t keep running yourself into the ground.”

“I’m fine,” I lie, not bothering to lift my eyes from the spell book in front of me. The truth is, I’m anything but fine. The words on the page blur together like alphabet soup, and I rub my temples, willing the headache to disappear.

Damien gives me a look. The kind that says he knows exactly how full of shit I am. “You’re not fine. You’re overworking yourself, and it’s going to catch up with you.”

“I don’t have a choice,” I snap. “If I don’t get stronger, what happens the next time something like that shows up? What if… what if it’s Penny who needs saving?”

Penny’s big brown eyes flick up at me as she clings to Damien’s shoulder. “Mama, are you okay?” Her voice is soft, full of that innocent concern. She may not understand what’s happening, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t know it’s serious.

I force a smile, and the guilt twists deeper. “I’m fine, sweetie.”

“You keep saying that,” Damien mutters, then sets Penny down gently before walking over to me. He doesn’t say anything else, just reaches for the spell book and closes it with a firm snap before pulling it out of my reach. “That’s enough for today.”

“Damien—”

“Enough,” he repeats, and his voice takes on that alpha edge that makes my back straighten despite myself. “You need rest. Not another spell. Not more practice. Rest. You’re no good to anyone, least of all Penny, if you collapse from exhaustion.”

He’s right, but admitting that feels like giving up. I press my palms into my eyes, trying to block out the ache in my head. “I just… I can’t shake it. I couldn’t save him.”

“You saved two other people, Jade.” He sits down next to me on the couch. “You can’t save everyone. Patrick… Patrick’s death wasn’t on you. It was the demon.”

I snort bitterly. “Yeah, well, tell that to my brain. It’s not exactly taking the night off.”

Damien places a hand on my knee, and the warmth of his touch seeps through the fabric of my pants, grounding me in a way I don’t want to acknowledge right now. He’s being kindand understanding, and that just makes the guilt even worse somehow.

“I’m serious,” he continues. “You’re doing everything you can. More than anyone else could. But you’ve got to stop trying to carry all of this alone.”

I glance at him, and my walls threaten to crumble. “I’m not trying to carry it alone,” I argue, even though we both know it’s a half-truth at best.

“You are,” he says, not unkindly. “But you don’t have to. I’m here. We’re in this together, remember?”

Before I can respond, Penny toddles over and climbs into my lap with her toy wolf. “Mama, are you sad?”

The innocent question breaks something inside me. I wrap my arms around her, pulling her close, and bury my face in her soft hair. “No, baby. I’m just tired.”

Damien watches us. “She’s been asking about you, you know. Wondering why you’ve been too busy to play.”

Another pang of guilt stabs at me, and I press my lips to Penny’s forehead. “I’m sorry, sweetie. I’ll make more time, I promise.”

“You don’t have to promise her anything right now,” Damien tells me. He stands and moves toward the kitchen. “How about I take care of dinner, and you two relax?”

I raise an eyebrow. “You’re going to cook?”

“Don’t sound so surprised,” he tosses over his shoulder with a smirk. “I can make a mean spaghetti. Just wait.”

Penny giggles, and the sound lifts something heavy from my chest, if only for a moment. I smile down at her, brushinga stray curl from her face. “You hear that? We’re getting fancy tonight.”

She beams up at me, and her tiny hands rest against my cheeks. “Yay! I love ‘ghetti!”

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