This is what I’ve always wanted. This is what I’ve been dreaming of for years. And finally, it’s happening.
We break apart for a second, both of us breathing hard, and then he grabs the back of my head and kisses me again, hungrier than before. There’s something desperate in the way he’s holding me, like he can’t get enough, and it’s driving me crazy.
“Damien,” I gasp.
He doesn’t answer. Instead, he lifts me up, and before I know it, my legs are wrapped around his waist. He is hard against me, and I can feel how big he is even through our clothes.
He carries me to the edge of the forest, where the shadows are deep and the light is dim, and presses me up against a tree. His hands are all over me, roaming down my body, gripping my hips, exploring every inch of skin. And I let him.
I let him because it’s all I’ve ever wanted.
Damien
I didn’t expect her to feel this good.
From the second my hand brushed against Jade’s skin, something in me shifted. Her skin was soft, warm, and it sent this electric shock through my body, waking up every nerve like I’d never felt anything before.
I didn’t expect towantto hold her, to kiss her. I didn’t expect to actually enjoy it. This was supposed to be a quick thing—get in, get out, and be done with the stupid bet. But now? Now I feel like the world’s biggest asshole.
I glance over at her as she stirs beside me in the tall grass, and I’m hit with a wave of guilt so strong, it almost knocks the air out of my lungs. What the hell have I done? This wasn’t supposed to happen like this. I wasn’t supposed to feel anything for her.
But I do. And that’s a problem.
This whole thing started as a joke. A drunken, careless joke. The guys were laughing, throwing out bets and challenges, and I was too stupid and proud to back down. They dared me to take the pack outcast’s virginity—to take Jade’s virginity. For fun. And because I’m Damien Lucas—future alpha, king of pride and arrogance—I didn’t say no. Instead, I laughed alongwith them and agreed. Because backing out? That would’ve been weak. And I’m anything but weak.
At least, that’s what I keep telling myself. But right now, I feel like the weakest piece of shit on earth.
I drag my hand through my hair, staring down at the floor as the memories of that night flood back. We were all at the bar, a few too many shots deep, and the conversation turned to girls. One of the guys—Jeremy, I think—brought up Jade, saying how she was always hanging around, still the awkward outcast she’d been in school. And someone else, probably Trevor, made the bet: take her to bed. Prove you can do it.
The worst part? I didn’t even hesitate. I agreed, thinking it would be easy, like everything else in my life. Because for me, things are easy. I get what I want, when I want it, and I don’t stop to think about the consequences.
But right now? Lying here beside her, the weight of what I’ve done is crushing me.
Jade’s chestnut hair falls over her face, covering one of her brown eyes, and for a moment, I just stare at her. Her curvy body presses into the soil beneath her, soft and pliant. She looks like an angel, peaceful and serene. I have no idea how she got to twenty-six without someone having claimed her. She’s so unbelievably gorgeous, even in the muted light of the rising sun. If she wasn’t my best friend’s sister, I’d have done this ages ago.
Oh, shit. Alec isn’t going to be happy about this. Not at all. He’s been protective of Jade ever since we were kids, and there’s no way he’s going to let me get away with hurting her.
I guess in the grand scheme of things, there’s not much he can do about it. I am the alpha-in-training. Being alpha-in-training has always meant keeping this mask of invulnerability—always being the hardest, always the one who didn’t let thingsget to him. It’s not just expected; it’s required. I had to be tough. Had to make the hard decisions. Had to be cold, ruthless, the kind of leader that nothing could break. And the longer I’ve worn that mask, the more it’s felt like it’s not a mask at all. Like maybe I really am that hard-hearted bastard the pack needs me to be.
But that doesn’t mean I’m looking forward to him finding out.
I shouldn’t have done this. I should’ve backed out. But I didn’t, and now there’s no undoing it.
I stare at the blue sky above me as the guilt chews at my conscience. I thought I could just get it over with, prove myself to the guys and move on. But the moment I touched her, it all changed. And now I’m stuck here, wondering how the hell I let things get this far.
It’s not just about the bet anymore. It’s about the fact that I’ve spent so long pretending to be someone who doesn’t care—pretending to be the guy who could do something like this and feel nothing. And now I’m starting to wonder if the act has actually turned me into that guy. The one who’s heartless, who sees people as pawns or conquests, who doesn’t let himself feel anything real.
My wolf stirs inside me, restless and agitated. He knows something’s wrong, too. This isn’t how it’s supposed to be. I thought it was just the usual lust, the typical alpha instinct to claim what’s mine. But this is different. This is something more, something I don’t fully understand. And it’s pissing me off.
I glance at my phone, where a string of texts from the guys are waiting for me. They’re probably wondering if I’ve sealed the deal yet, eager to hear the details of how I bagged the pack’s outcast. My stomach turns, and I shove the phoneaway. I can’t deal with them right now. Not when I’m lying here, drowning in guilt.
Jade turns toward me with a soft, sleepy smile on her face. Dammit, she looks so happy. Like she doesn’t have a clue what’s really going on. Like she has no idea that the whole reason I’m here is because of a stupid bet.
“You okay?” she asks as she rubs my arm.
No. I’m not okay. None of this is okay.
“Yeah,” I lie, forcing the word out. “I’m fine.”