Page 102 of The Shadow Wand

“It is,” Lukas firmly concurs, a shrewd glint forming in his eyes. “So, we weaponize it. And aim it directly at them.”

His words stoke my rebellion as I glance once more at the matching lines on our hands, feeling heartened that Lukas holds as much contempt for the “Sacred” Sacraments of Fasting and Sealing as I do.

Agreement settles between us, surprising in its strength.

“There was a time,” I admit, “when I seriously considered fasting to you. You should know that. And it wasn’t just for your money. Or your power.”

A flash of warmth ignites in Lukas’s eyes as his affinity fire momentarily escapes his control. “Elloren,” he says, his tone gaining an impassioned edge, “I wanted to fast to you from the moment I first laid eyes on you.”

Remorse and grief well up inside me in response to his heated admission. My eyes prick with tears that I struggle to blink back. Because I do have feelings for Lukas, but the loss of Yvan is a spear clear through my heart.

Overwhelmed by conflict and sorrow, I look at Lukas, staring into those forest green eyes of his. Lukas reaches up to caress my cheek, my hair, his touch featherlight, his expression slightly pained. Moved by his attempt to comfort me, I wipe away my brimming tears and pause at the brink of this new thing between us as I take in the level of emotion in Lukas’s eyes.

I feel devastated by the loss of Yvan. But circumstances will not allow time for my heart to recover. And Lukas is here, ready to fight alongside me. Ready to risk his own life for me and bind himself to me in every way.

“I want you to know,” I haltingly tell Lukas, “that in time...I feel like I could care for you as more than a friend. Possibly a great deal. But right now...” Grief for Yvan constricts my chest, choking off the words.

Lukas’s eyes tighten, the pain in them edged with understanding. His arm drops to my shoulder, but his touch remains gentle and comforting, his thumb tracing a short line back and forth across the silk of my tunic.

My voice is throaty with tears when it comes. “I can’t seal to you purely for escape. Not if we’re going to consummate it. I know we’re both being forced into this, but...if I’m going to be sealed to you, I have to actually besealedto you.”

Lukas stays quiet, and it feels like we can both sense the seismic emotional shift happening between us.

“I want to be sealed to you,” Lukas states unequivocally. “Truly sealed.”

Feeling like I’m quietly taking a dive off an impossibly high cliff, I press back my grief and meet his deep-green gaze steadily.

“All right, Lukas,” I say, holding his fervent stare. “Let’s truly seal this fasting.”

Lukas’s expression shifts, the gravity of this decision stark in it, stark in us both. “Tomorrow eve,” he finally says, his voice pitched low. “Mother will arrange things.”

My hackles rise, the mention of his mother reminding me of the dangers at hand and slicing through this moment of closeness between us. “Lukas, I’m certain your mother arranged for the Banes to attack me.”

Lukas frowns. “Damion Bane won’t be attacking anyone anytime soon,” he says, a hard glint forming in his eyes. “I won’t be killing Chi Nam, but heison my list.”

Trepidation spikes. “Damion may be suspicious about me. He sensed my power when he attacked me.”

“We’ll be long gone before his suspicions are of any consequence.”

“But your mother...she’s a real threat. She wants to drive me out of the Realm. Or worse.”

“Well, she can’t drive you out,” he says shortly. “Not with Vogel presiding at the Sealing. And the minute there’s a possibility that I’ve got you with child, she’ll leave you alone.”

I cough and emphatically slice through the air with both hands. “No oneis getting me with child.”

Lukas shoots me a look of incredulity. “Elloren, of course not. I’ve Sanjire root.”

I’m relieved to hear he has the pregnancy-preventing root, but still, anger churns hot over Evelyn and Lachlan Grey’s cruelty, particularly toward women. “Your family isvile,” I spit out at him.

Lukas’s face tenses and the anger and bottomless hurt that’s momentarily laid bare in his expression is so intense that I instantly regret saying this.

His mouth rearranges itself into a tight line. “Yes, Elloren. Iknowmy family is vile.”

Instantly abashed, I hold Lukas’s intense gaze, trying to convey that I’m sorry for the harshness of my words even though the sentiment is true. Understanding seems to pass between us, his expression losing its severe edge. I bring my hand up to massage my newly aching forehead as my mind casts about, attempting to piece together this plan for escape.

“So...we’ll be sealed tomorrow night,” I say.

Lukas nods. “And leave the next morning.”

---