Page 85 of The Black Witch

I can feel myself growing lightheaded as the weight of this new reality sinks in.

“Will he get it back?” I force out.

“Maybe. A little.”

I swallow, my throat gone dry. “Enough to make violins?”

Rafe pauses before answering. “No.”

“Oh, no. Oh, Ancient One, no...” I hang my head as the tears come.

Aislinn hastily fishes a handkerchief out of her pockets and I absentmindedly take it. A thousand memories swirl around me. Uncle Edwin teaching a small me to make braided holiday bread with his nimble fingers. Uncle Edwin guiding my tiny hands on my violin. The sweet sound of Uncle Edwin playing by the fire on cold winter nights. A jagged fear rides in close on the heels of these images from my happy childhood.

Uncle Edwin will lose his business. We’ve never been well-to-do, but now we’ll be poor. And beholden to Aunt Vyvian.

Perhaps I’ve no choice. Perhaps I’llhaveto fast to wealthy Lukas Grey.

“In two years Trystan will be able to earn a wage as a Weapons Mage, and you’ll be apprenticed to a physician,” Rafe says, as if reading my mind. “You’ll make a good wage, as well. And you’ve work to pay off your tithe.”

“Rafe,” I say, my voice low. “Lukas Grey...he wants to fast to me.”

Rafe’s face darkens. “You’d be a fool to fast to Lukas Grey.Especiallyfor money.”

“I’ve already told him no.”For now.I feel a twinge of guilt at not being completely honest with my brother, but it quickly curdles to a defensive frustration with his unasked-for opinions.

Relief washes over his expression. “Good.” He pats my arm. “Wait to fast. It’s what Uncle Edwin wants. Unless...” Rafe casts a sidelong glance toward Gareth, who’s distracted by Trystan’s efforts to retie the splint bindings.

I glance over at Gareth, as well.

A mariner’s fastmate. Beholden to his pleasant, seafaring family instead of Aunt Vyvian. Gareth once suggested that we fast as friends.

But Gareth and I don’t love each other that way.

I do want to fast someday. But not to someone I’ll only ever see as a friend. I want to fast to someone I feel strongly about. In every way.

I turn back to Rafe, and I know that he can see my true feelings in my expression.

“Wait to fast,” Rafe tells me, squeezing my arm. “Wait until you’re sure.”

“I’m going to help him to the physician,” Trystan says to Rafe, getting up. “I’m making a mess of this splint.”

I move to get up, but Rafe gestures for me to stay. “No, Ren. Stay. Eat. We’ll tend to Gareth.” He smiles at me. “Maybe he’ll actually listen to the physician’s instructions this time.”

“What areyougoing to do?” I ask Rafe, worriedly. “Where will you apprentice?”

“Well,” he said, straightening, “I’ll finish off the year, and then I’ll apprentice myself to the military. I know it’s not what Uncle Edwin wants, but it’s the only way. We’ll go see him in a few weeks. Trystan and I,” Rafe tells me reassuringly.

I feel a stab of hurt. “Me, too,” I insist.

“No, Ren. You need to stay here, where you’ll be safe.”

Tears sting at my eyes. The Icaral. I have to stay because of the Valgard Icaral. The one that’s stalking me. “All right,” I relent miserably.

As I watch Trystan and Rafe leave, Gareth supported between them, anger eats into my sadness.

Icarals.

It’s all their fault. If it wasn’t for them, I could visit my uncle, and I wouldn’t be living in nightmarish lodging.

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