Page 71 of Devilish Ink

Iwatched Rian and Ry huddled close on their steps, letting the bitterness swill in my mouth.

I didn’t think there was something romantic between them; I could see that their touches and stares were ones born from easy affection. Not passion.

What I coveted was how easily Rian commanded her attention and took up space in her life. Like he was entitled to it. The second he was back, there was no room for me.

I was on the outside looking in again.

Just like on the farm with Alan and his family.

I wanted what they had. I wanted to be accepted into their family. Accepted as part of Ry’s and Rian’s life.

But that would never happen unless I convinced Rian to forgive me.

But first…I had to admit my lies to Ry. And hope that she forgave me first.

My stomach jumbled into a knot so twisted, one I berated myself for because I caused it.

I should have told Ry weeks ago. I just got so caught up inus. I kept saying,tomorrow, I’ll tell her,tomorrow.

Tell her that my name was Liam not Lee.

Tell her that I was her best friend’s brother.

But tomorrow never came.

In the shadows outside Dublin Ink, I watched her through the windows, my heart aching at how close she was but so fucking far away. It killed me to brush off her messages, her requests for me to see her.

The worst of it all was when she glanced toward the door. I knew she was looking for me. Expecting me.

Fuck, hadn’t I even told her I would be there after work? Hadn’t I tried to tell her that with the steadiness of my eyes as she looked up at me from the kitchen floor that I would always be there?

I followed her and Rian home, hands in fists by my side, not caring that the rain was soaking my clothes, glaring at the way their heads leaned in together. Hating that her hand was wrapped aroundhiselbow, thathegot to hold an umbrella for her, thathegot to jump puddles with her.

I crouched shivering on the rooftop, staring into their warm brightly lit apartment as they sang along to “Two Kids”by David Keenan and “This City” by Sam Fisher, as Rian helped her chop onions and open jars. I buried my rage as he tookmy seatnext to her and stole her laughter from me and my olives off her plate.

I had to see her, to explain everything. I wanted it more than anything. But how would I even get her alone with Rian hogging her?

How could I tell her that the best friend who now spent so much time by her side was the very brother who hated the ground I walked on?

Could she still love me? Or would she join arms with Rian against me?

The pain that lashed through me at this possibility almost brought me to my knees.

It was clear that Ryleigh was part ofhisfamily.

Not mine.

If I lost her, I’d lose Rian, too. Forever.

The exhaust pipe slipped and I knew it was bad from the flash of pain and the sudden flood of heat between my fingers.

Blood dripped onto the floor in big drops as I cupped my hand and hurried toward the office. Out of the corner of my eye, Darren looked up at me from behind the wheel of the old junker he still thought he could bring back to life.

The rusted car door slammed as I did my best not to ruin the tidy stacks of invoices in my search for the first aid kit.

“Here,” Darren said, wiping his grease-stained hands on a dirty rag before opening a metal cabinet door. “Just sit down.”

My hands shook in my lap, jeans growing wet from my own blood. I cursed low under my breath. My toe tapped erratically on the old office carpet as Darren shoved a towel over my lap and set the first aid kit on the chair beside me.

---