Page 101 of Devilish Ink

“You’d…abandon me?” I asked, hurt making my voice come out strained. Weak. Thin.

Rian walked toward the door without answering.

“Rian?” I called after him.

Before he slammed the door, he glanced halfway back over his shoulder.

“As far as I’m concerned,” he said, “youdid the abandoning.”

I’d just finished brushing my teeth when another wave of nausea sent me right back to the toilet. The porcelain was still warm from where I’d gripped it just moments before. It was little comfort as I gagged and struggled to breathe.

A minute later I was sagged against the bathtub, feet out long in front of me like a broken doll. I hadn’t even bothered getting up. I figured at that point it would just be a waste of toothpaste.

I considered reaching up for a hand towel to wipe the sweat from my brow. But the distance to the little golden ring seemed impossible.

I groaned when I heard the doorbell. I forced myself up.

After half crawling, half stumbling against the wall toward the front door, I pulled myself up into a mostly upright position. I dragged my sleeve against my mouth. It was the least I could do for my friends.

“Hey there,” I said as cheerily as I could manage as I swung open the door.

Aurnia, Eithne, and Rachel stood in the light outside my door with armfuls of bottles of wine, bars of chocolate, and a stack of pizzas three high.

Their smiles fell and their arms sagged the instant they saw me. Cries of ‘Happy housewarming’ died on their lips.

“Oh, Ry,” Aurnia said, adjusting the snacks so she could reach out a hand to my forehead, “you look terrible.”

I brushed her away, though the clamminess of my fingers was clearly just as much of a giveaway.

Rachel pushed her way inside like an investigator on the hunt.

I turned around to watch her eyes travel over the apartment, in search of the crime.

Aurnia and Eithne followed soon after as I tried to pull myself together for my housewarming party.

“I’m fine,” I said, not really sounding all that reassuring.

All it took was flipping open the first box of pizza to send me rushing back toward the bathroom. I kicked shut the door as best I could while wrangling up my hair, but it did nothing to stop my friends from clambering in around me.

“Thanks,” I mumbled as I sat on the tiled floor in the cramped space.

Rachel flushed, Eithne served up a dollop of toothpaste onto my brush, and Aurnia patted down the back of my clammy neck with a washcloth.

I didn’t fail to notice their meaningful glances to each other over my head.

“What?” I grunted as I stuffed the toothbrush into my mouth.

I scrubbed roughly at my tongue and looked from girl to girl. I got avoided eyes. Downcast glances. Lower lips bit between teeth.

“What?” I shouted, toothpaste splattering my shaking knees, “What?!”

Twenty minutes later the four of us stood in a circle. Silent. Waiting. Eyes fixed on the little window of a pregnancy test.

The pizza was cold on the kitchen counter. The wine bottles were abandoned on the couch. Only the chocolate was unwrapped, though it tasted like cardboard in my mouth.

“What do you want it to be?” Aurnia whispered after checking the little clock on the stove.

Maybe she could remember how long ago I peed on that damned stick. I certainly couldn’t. Time seemed to both stand completely still and rush forward out of control. I hardly even knew where I was as I bit off another chunk of tasteless chocolate.

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