Page 67 of Mastered By Lust

“There’s something I want to discuss, and if you’re not up for it, I’ll back off.”

Fuck. Is he going to tell me the second auction was a mistake? Is he going to pull away again? I can’t bear it.

“No, it’s not bad.” He takes one of my hands. “At least, I don’t think it is. You might.”

“Is this what you wanted to tell me over breakfast?” It seems like a year ago we were making those plans.

His hand is a heavy, reassuring weight over mine. “Yeah.”

Sighing, I say, “Go ahead.”

He wraps an arm around my shoulders before pulling back and turning so he can face me. His gray eyes are intent, his gaze boring into mine. “I know you’re with Gage. I’m okay with it. I don’t want to get in the way of that. But you should know, Leah, thatIcare about you, too. I want you. I want you with every goddamn cell in my body. And I have for literal fucking years.”

Happiness fills me. For literal fucking years I’ve wanted this confession. I may or may not have invented something similar to play in my head like a movie when I was in high school. It usually involved this confession followed by him backing me up against the lockers and kissing the life out of me before throwing me over his shoulder and tossing me into the back seat of his Mustang. But the confession, admission, and declaration were a part of it, too.

But this reality in the present moment? It’s even better. My heart is a dancing butterfly, landing to taste the sweetness of a wild rose. His words are a gift to the Leah of now just as much as they are to the Leah of the past.

He continues, “I’m so fucking sorry for how I behaved earlier. I didn’t want to mess up our friendship. I didn’t want to piss off Danica. She always made me promise?—”

“I know. I heard.”

“It’s a shitty excuse, though. I should have taken responsibility. Talked to you. I shouldn’t have slept with you that first time, then left without communicating. We could’ve worked out how to tell Danica together.”

“I wasn’t a team player, either.” I was hurt by how he dismissed me, but I didn’t stand up for myself. “I could have reached out. It’s hard to be vulnerable.”

“It is. I need to work on that, too.” He sighs and presses his forehead to mine. “Leah, this is as vulnerable as I can get. My heart is yours.”

He wants a relationship? Everything good comes to an end—I’ve always believed that. But doesn’t that mean I should enjoy this good thing while it lasts?

“I—wow.” I’m not sure what to say. I want to stay in this moment for a long, long time.

“I’m pretty sure you have Gage’s heart, too.” He pulls back to look at me. “You’re capable of so much, Leah…are you capable of being with two men? Letting them fall for you, and falling for them in return? I don’t want to play games. I want something real. Tell me that’s what you want.”

Easy. Even if nothing lasts forever, I want this to last. “It is.”

He smiles, wide and happy. “Tell me I can kiss you.”

“You can.”

His lips are soft, tentative instead of commanding. Is he hesitating because he saw slimy Patrick kissing and groping me? Am I damaged to him? Does he feel the need to hold back in fear that I’ll be triggered?

I kiss him harder, tugging his lower lip between my teeth. He makes a low sound in the back of his throat before pulling away.

“Why are you stopping?” I ask.

He presses his forehead against mine. “It doesn’t feel right. You need time to recover before we go further.”

He’s right—although the pills helped, my head still hurts. It’s best to wait. But I remain close to him, breathing in the new contentment of our connection.

A knock on the door causes us to break apart.

“Come in,” Dmitri says.

Danica stands in the doorway.

18

Leah

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