Page 25 of Mastered By Lust

“Gagey!” She tucks her unlit cigarette and lighter into the matching clutch under her arm. Her hands shake slightly as she hurries toward me. “You came!”

“Of course.” I endure her too-tight hug before gently pulling back so I can peer into her face. Her dark-blue eyes look clear, although pinched in sorrow. She might have disagreed with Javi’s choices over the years, but she’s definitely sad he’s gone.

It’s difficult to discern others’ feelings in Hollywood. While some friends are genuine, many are acting all the time, unable to break out of the personas they’ve created for themselves. It’s a survival mechanism for some—but it makes genuine relationships difficult to nurture.

Claudia has always been real except when it comes to her struggles with addiction.

“I’m clean, Gage.” She waves her hand around like she can swat away my concern. “Other than my prescribed medications.”

I don’t deny my scrutiny. “You look nice. ‘Clean’ is a good look on you.”

“Psh. Flattery will get you everywhere with me.” She peers at the steadily filling parking lot. “We should probably get inside.”

“I’m sitting at the back.”

She beams. “Perfect, so are the rest of the Shinies.”

Unfortunate. “Claudia…”

“It’ll be fine.” Latching her arm in mine, she hustles us to the cathedral entrance.

We check in and show our IDs to security in the foyer, then enter the main part of the cathedral.

I’m not a church-goer, but I appreciate the beauty and calm offered by such an expansive, somber place. Stained-glass windows transform the sunlight into somber kaleidoscopes.

The pews are filling up, and sure enough, we find several former castmates in the back rows. Not only Shinies, but some older AoG actors from Seasons One and Two, and newer actors who came after us.

Todd, who called the other day, offers me a restrained smile. His black hair has threads of gray in it now. Jessica, sitting between him and Nic, doesn’t see me.

But Nic does. Her candy-pink lips part and her hazel eyes crinkle with warmth. I can’t be sure whether her expression is fake or genuine. She’s one of those actors who’s always onstage. She offers me a little wave.

This captures Jessica’s attention, and she turns and waves at me as well. Her natural spirals of dark auburn curls flow down to her shoulders.

My smile for Jessica is genuine as I lift my hand in greeting. I am quick to find a seat at the far end of the pew, using Claudia as a buffer between me and the rest of them.

Now I make use of our sacred setting and pray that the service begins before I have to talk to any of my former friends.

Once the service begins, I pray for it to end.

The priest drones on about Javier Nori’s beautiful, short life. He was a talented actor always trying to improve, as well as a friend to so many, and an honorable, caring confidant.

Several heads in the pew swivel toward me at the mention of Javi’s “honorable” nature. I remain impassive, staring ahead at the priest. I take in the giant cross behind him, the shiny black coffin in front of him. There is only a single, simple arrangement of lilies. Javi’s parents requested donations to his favorite charity instead of flowers.

I’m not unmoved by the funeral—but I’m not crying like Claudia, who has tears streaming down her face.

Afterward, I try to hurry away, but Claudia latches onto my arm. “There are pictures in the side chapel. Let’s go look at them.”

“Claudia…”

“You didn’t come to the wake. The least you can do is look at some photos and remember things with me.” She blinks her deep blue eyes and carefully wipes a tear away so as not to smear her make-up.

“All right.” I worry what she’ll do if left alone, so I follow her to the side chapel. Luckily, the AoG cast remains at the pews in a small clump, chatting together. Going to the side chapel gives me an excuse to escape them. It was probably Claudia’s aim all along. “Are you trying to help me?”

Her impish grin is all the confirmation I need. “I know you don’t want to talk to them. We’ll wait for them to leave before making our escape.”

My heart warms with gratitude and a touch of surprise. It’s rare that Claudia takes care of me instead of the other way around. “Thank you.”

“Of course. And I do want to make sure they don’t have any ugly pictures of me in here.”

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