Page 80 of Mastered By Desire

Crawling into the bed, I inhale deeply. To clear my mind, I use a trick Danica once shared with me. She learned it in one of her psych classes. I mentally move from my right arm, to my right leg, then left leg, then left arm, then my head. For each part, I imagine that it’s warm until I start to feel it. And then I go around my body again, repeating that each part is heavy. Usually it works so well, I only get about halfway through the warm cycle.

Right now it doesn’t work as well. I have to go through the entire warm cycle. I’m not sure how far I get through the heavy cycle, but after a few minutes, I finally drift off.

A nightmare wakes me. Night has fallen. The room is lit by the city lights beyond the windows. I know I’m alone, but there’s still a sense that my nightmare assailants have found me, that they’re waiting.

I’m fine, I repeat to myself.My right arm is warm. My right arm is warm.

It’s not fucking working. I have to pee, anyway, so I get up and find the bathroom in the hall. When I’m finished, I return to the guest room.

I stare at the bed, at the shadows. I can’t do it. In my nightmare, they’re waiting for me, grabbing me when I least expect it.

I can’t get today out of my head. Randy’s sneer. The men, all of them so big, all standing around and waiting for whatever Randy is going to do next.

The hands coming out of nowhere to hurt me.

I whirl around and dodge across the hall to the door that’s cracked open. Gage’s door.

It’s completely dark in there.

I shove the door open a little more. “Gage? Are you awake?”

His sheets whisper as he moves. “What is it?”

“I’m…I don’t know.” I feel so stupid. Needy. Desperate. I’m standing here in a T-shirt and underwear, my cheeks hot with a blush. “I’m sorry.”

A lamp flicks on, very dim. Gage is shirtless, sitting up in bed. He looks different without his glasses. Still handsome as always. And I’ve never seen him with his shirt off.

He pats the side of the bed. “Come here, little girl. You can sleep with me. I’ll keep you safe.”

22

Gage

Ican’t believe I invited her into my penthouse, much less my bedroom.

What am I doing?

I will regret this, yet there are no other options. Leah is hurting. She’s scared. She’s uncertain about her life, her safety, her place in the world.

I want to be her safe harbor.

“Are you sure?” Her voice trembles.

“Absolutely.” I stand up and walk to her, slowly so as not to startle her. “Come over here. Just to sleep, I promise.”

She allows me to lead her to the bed. I pull the covers back on her side, and she climbs in. I pull the sheet up to her shoulders and bend forward, kissing her cheek.

What the hell has gotten into me?

I get in bed on the other side. When I move to turn off the lamp, she says, “Can we leave it on?”

“Of course,” I say lightly, but inwardly I am grimacing.

She must fall asleep, because her eyes close and her breathing becomes deep and even.

Several long hours later, I know it’s morning because of the light coming from the open bedroom door. The lamp is no longer necessary, but I leave it on for Leah’s sake. My windows are dark, of course, because my black-out blinds are the best money can buy.

An incredibly beautiful girl is curled up next to me.

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