Page 12 of Redeeming Meg

It drove her insane.

Hedrove her insane.

He pulled up short and faced her. “We’re the common denominator, Meg. The Black Swans.” He lowered his voice. “You and me.”

If not for the shadows, she would have sworn his eyes softened when he said it.

Her pulse quickened. Her heart squeezed.

You and me.

How many times had he said that to her during a mission? How many times had she silently repeated it back to him?

“We’re part of a team,” she corrected. “You need to remember that.”

“The way you’re acting right now suggests differently. It’s okay to rely on others, Meg.”

She sucked in a breath. Pinched the pendant between her finger and thumb hard enough to make it hurt. Relying on others meant giving up control. When had that ever worked for her?

The only person she could count on was herself.

But he was right there, alive and breathing, and she’d been so lonely…

So filled with grief.

Self-righteous anger.

“It wasn’t your fault,” he said, as if reading her mind.

She shoved at the grief and pain, a habit now. They reared their heads every day, and sometimes, it was an exercise in futility to stomp them back into that deep hole she’d dug for them.

But she’d had a lot of practice. “She counted on me. There’s no one else to blame.”

His expression tightened at that. “We both know you blame me for choosing you over her. Just admit it.”

Is that what he thought? In the beginning, yes, she railed at him, the horror of it too much for her to handle. She’d blamed everybody else, even though the therapist reminded her that the person who did the deed was Hagar. He was the killer, not her. Not Dec.

Not Flynn or the CIA.

Not anyone but the terrorist.

It had been meant as a lifeline that the doctor had thrown her, but no matter how she tried to grab hold of it, it slipped through her fingers. The voice in her head said differently, and taunted her every minute of every day.My fault. My fault. My fault.

“I should’ve figured out a way to get you both out,” he said.

For a heartbeat, the grief eased. A sensation she’d forgotten flooded through her.

Shewasn’talone.

He was here, and he understood.

Yes. He, out of all of them, understood. She and Dec had been there, had witnessed what had happened up close and personal. Had shared in the responsibility.

In the aftermath, he’d stormed in. Rescued her as Hagar’s death squad helped him escape.

Dec had covered Jessie’s body.

In the following weeks, Meg and Dec had tackled the debriefings together. He’d shown up each day for her PT. Hadmade sure she had groceries in her fridge when she finally went home.

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