Page 41 of Redeeming Meg

Hadloved about him.

He’d been her rock through so many things and always seemed to be two steps ahead of her. His presence was welcome, and yet, it also complicated things. She couldn’t ignore how her pulse kicked when he looked at her the way he was now. The way her heart skipped a beat when he touched her.

She should pull her hand away. Stop staring into those gorgeous eyes of his.

Instead, she set down her fork. She couldn’t afford to have feelings for him, but here she was, drowning in them. “If I let my emotions cloud my judgment, it could jeopardize everything.”

He knew she wasn’t talking about Tommy. He laid down his fork as well, keeping a light hold of her hand. “Can you ever forgive me?”

She knew what he was asking.

She swallowed down the pit that lodged in her throat.Projection, her therapist had diagnosed.Survivor’s guilt. Just a few of the terms the doctor had thrown at her.

“I never really blamed you.” The words were like rough stones in her mouth. “I blamed myself, but you became my whipping post. I was consumed with guilt because she was my responsibility, and I failed her. Failed all of you. You became atarget for me to take out all of my rage and self-loathing on.” She was tired. So damn tired of it all. “I’m sorry. It wasn’t fair.”

“You know what I learned in the Marines?”

A lot of things, she bet. “How to properly curse?”

He smirked. “Besides that. I learned that the second in command is a sounding board for the commanding officer. In the war room, in the field, doesn’t matter. The CO needs his second to be a wall. To bounce ideas off, to release pent-up frustration on, to rely on for support, no matter what the odds or situation. A real partner through thick and thin. Better or worse.”

“You make it sound like a marriage.”

“It is in a way.” His thumb stroked over her fingers, one by one. Slow, soothing. “Whatever you can dish out, Meg, I can take it.”

The way he looked at her sometimes, the moments like this when their interactions softened into casual banter… It was dangerous. “Do you ever…” She rolled her finger around her temple.

“Lose my shit? Who doesn’t?”

“I’ve never seen you fall apart. Never seen you come undone like I have.”

“I save it for the ring. I take out my frustrations through boxing.” He glanced down at their connected hands. “You should try it sometime. Might do you some good. Probably more so than seeing that therapist.”

“Hitting people isn’t my thing.”

“You can hit me. I can handle it. You won’t hurt me.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Is that so?”

He smirked. “I guarantee you hit like a girl.”

Fat, rotten son of a bitch. “Sounds like you’re throwing down a challenge.”

“Take it however you want.”

The tension in the air snapped like an electric wire between them. She wanted to takehimright now. Sex—fast, hard, knock-it-out-the-park skin-to-skin contact. That’s what would do her some good.

“You should get some sleep,” he said, his voice gentle and rumbling with restraint. Like always, he knew exactly what she was thinking. He thought it was a bad idea.

He was right.

But, damn it. Mission sex with some of the best sex she’d ever had. Or maybe it was just sex with Declan. She’d never crossed that line with anyone else.

He withdrew his touch and devoured another bite of the casserole. He didn’t meet her eyes as he said, “Go ahead. I’ll clean up.”

Was he…backing down?

Declan Reid?

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