Page 56 of The Art of You

“Rugby is back in the city, or I’d go get him for you.”

I let go of her since I had no business holding her. Her arm fell slowly between us as my hand went the opposite speed to the wall.

“And I sleep with him because I have no one else to sleep with.” She pouted, knowing what buttons to press with both her comment and that little downturned lip.

It’s working. You’re distracting me.But it was also becoming clear Alessandro hadn’t told Bella that the story Kit wrote about my op was, in part, true.

Of course he didn’t spill my secrets. Unless he was talking to his wife, the man was a steel trap. Callie could get information from him as easily as Bella could from me. We were both . . .

No, I wasn’t love-drunk. Not possible. Or was it? Just because I’d spent every day with this woman for months straight, and I’d wanted to kill every man who dated her since she’d turned twenty-five, didn’t mean I was in love. I loved Bella as a friend, of course, but fuck, I didn’t even know what the other kind of love felt like. Never experienced it before.

Shit, now I did need to get drunk-drunk with some of the Costas’ expensive scotch.

“What’d my brother keep from me that’d have me wanting to cuddle instead of what I, um, offered?”

I still wanted her original offer, which was a reminder of the position we were currently in. I stood tall, allowing my hands to return to my sides, giving her space to breathe.Andfor me to calm down before I begged for those sixty airport seconds.

The way she was making me feel, I’d even go so far as to kill for them. But not hurting her was more important than what I wanted.

It was now or never. I hesitantly revealed, “Friday night, I was off my game because I could have sworn I saw a guy from my old team there. My former SEALteam. Alfie wasn’t on the list, and I haven’t seen him in twelve years. Not since the funeral we both went to for our team leader, Matt.” I paused to search for the words to continue. “Kit’s story wasn’t total bullshit,” I confessed. “That last mission I was on in Afghanistan was a failure at every level. I may have left the Navy because of my mom, but I . . .”

She sacrificed the space I just gave her, coming right back at me. She reached around and cupped the back of my neck, urging my head down, wrapping her other arm around me for a hug.

I couldn’t resist and returned the gesture, arms encircling her, accepting whatever safety and comfort she’d give me while trying not to take more.

“Oh, Hudson.” The way she said my name, was that the sound of forgiveness?

Forgiveness for what happened in 2010 wasn’t hers to give, but if she could, I’d take it. Which was exactly why I needed to untangle myself from her embrace.

ButI’d give it five more seconds. You know, airport rules or something like that.

I buried my face into her hair, breathing in the smell of her shampoo.

“Matt, he was the friend who died from fentanyl, wasn’t he?” she asked, hugging me even tighter.

I wasn’t sure how we’d gone from sexual tension tothis, butthere we were.“Yeah, he did. He blamed himself for his decisions the day of our op, the same way I’ve been blaming myself for defying his orders.” I pulled back and looked her in the eyes while unloading my guilt aloud for her to hear. “I stayed behind at base while my teammates walked right into an ambush and everything went to hell.”

Chapter 22

Hudson

The knockat the door stopped me from sharing the story I’d kept buried for years.Anyone but Constantine.

“We’re back. You good?” Because God had it out to get me, of course it was him. “Alessandro updated me.”

Bella brought a finger to her lips, which was comical. Did she think I’d planned to tell her brother she was in here with me?

And yet, somehow her cute gesture killed the bad vibes. The woman had the magic touch. That, or I was even more fucked than I thought and straight up putty in this woman’s hands.

“Hudson? You in there?”

Bella mouthed, “Talk,” as if I’d forgotten how.

“I was in the bathroom, sorry,” I finally said, still staring at her in some kind of daze. “I was gonna take a shower, but I’ll meet you in the kitchen instead. Give me five.”

“I’d like to talk to you alone before we meet with everyone else.”

Of course you would.Before I had a chance to come upwith an exfil plan, Bella was already en route to the bathroom. She gently closed the door, and I felt like I was a teenager trying to hide a girl I’d snuck into my room.

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