“You don’t have to, dear.”
I try to smile. “I’m happy to.”
I take the leash, and we head back up. I’m careful to be quiet as we pass Quincy’s door, feeling better once we’re inside Blanche’s apartment.
I release Thor, and he flops over to his water bowl, downing about a gallon per lick and spilling just as much on the ground.
Blanche gives me a compassionate smile. “I’m going to make some tea for both of us.”
I nod, unable to form words right now, simply grateful for her compassion in my time of need.
She fiddles around in the kitchen before coming back out and pouring us both cups of tea. She motions for me to sit on her sofa as she does the same.
“Do you want to tell me what, or who, has you so upset? Perhaps a certain neighbor of mine?”
I’m quiet.
“You’re in love with him.”
I close my eyes and tears stream out of them as I croak out, “But I don’t want to be.”
She lovingly rubs my hand. “Tell me the story of you and Quincy. I’ve heard tidbits from him, but I got the feeling yesterday that it’s a longer one.”
“What makes you so sure?”
She gives me a small smile. “Eighty-plus years of on-the-job training. Tell me everything. Don’t leave anything out. These old ears can handle it.”
So I do. I unload everything on this poor woman. For nearly an hour, I get all of it off my chest. Every feeling, every insecurity, every rejection. She listens. She holds my hand. She lets me cry. It’s a purging that I didn’t realize I needed.
By the end, she’s crying too. “Oh, Ripley, you’re so deeply in love with him.”
I close my eyes and whisper, “I know. I hate myself for it.”
“Why?”
“I want to be a strong woman, not a weak one. Loving him makes me weak.”
“No, it doesn’t. From what you’ve told me about your life, you’re incredibly strong.” She squeezes my hand. “I never had a daughter. I have one son who I rarely see. If I ever had a daughter or granddaughter, I’d want her to be exactly like you.”
“A mess over a man she’ll never have?”
“No, one who loves with her whole heart. Flaws and all.”
I take a tissue from the box she offers and blow my nose. “I can’t go on like this.”
“Don’t give up on him. Can I tell you what I think?”
“Please.”
“I think he loves you too. He’d be crazy not to. It’s just unexpected for him, and he doesn’t know how to handle it. Look at his actions. He can’t bear to see you with another man. If he didn’t care, he wouldn’t feel that way. Give him time. He’ll get there eventually. Sometimes men don’t see what’s right in front of them. It takes them longer than us to see the truth in things. I think he has some demons that have nothing to do with you. Give him space to work on those before you completely write him off.”
I nod, not in agreement, simply in understanding. Quincy never has and never will love me, but I’m not arguing with her over it. “Can I stay a little longer? My roommate needs the place to herself. Unlike me, she has a man who’s making his intentions clear.”
She sets her tea down and stands. “You’ll stay here tonight. I’ll make up the guest bedroom for you.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want to impose.”
She smiles. “I haven’t had a girly sleepover in seventy years.” She rubs her hands together in excitement. “I’ll make popcorn, and we’ll watch a movie. What’s your favorite movie?”