Page 50 of Curveball

“No, babe, you’re going to be awesome. It’s going to be hot as hell, guaranteed.”

CHAPTER ELEVEN

RIPLEY

We won our opening game last night, and tonight we’re going to the Cougars’ game. Afterward, we’ll go to a bar called Screwballs where the boys like to hang out.

I’m doing my makeup in my bathroom when Arizona walks in. Her eyes meet mine in the mirror. “Wow, you look good. We’re just going to a ballgame.”

I shrug. “We don’t all have hot fake boyfriends. I’m officially on the prowl. I told you, I miss intimacy.”

She looks at my oversized T-shirt that I’m only wearing while I put on my makeup, the one I took from an ex-boyfriend in college, Aaron, and smiles. “That shirt always makes me laugh.” It reads,I Love to Eat Out, and it has a stick figure woman sitting on the face of a stick figure man.

I do a little curtsy in the well-worn shirt that I wear to bed most nights. “Are you ready to play the doting girlfriend tonight?” I bat my eyelashes.

She turns around in her tight-as-sin Lancaster jersey. Theback reads,Layton’s Lady. “You know it. Layton’s fake lady is always ready. I’m heading next door to Kam and Bailey’s for a drink. Come over when you’re done.”

Just after she leaves, my phone rings. I see that it’s my mother and I reluctantly answer. “Hi, Mom. What’s wrong?”

“Does something have to be wrong for me to call you?”

“You called me on my first day of college to tell me that you thought you might be pregnant and you had no clue who the father was. Fortunately, that was a false alarm. You called me on the first day of my senior year to tell me you didn’t think you could afford the house and were selling it. You called me just after I got to Houston to tell me that I had been an illegal alien in this country for seventeen years. Need I go on?”

“Well, Miss Sassy Pants, I called to see how you’re settling in and when I can come for a visit.”

Oh hell. She’s the last thing I need. “It’s really hot here right now. July in Philly is no joke. Come for a visit when it cools off. I think Paul and Pamela are doing the same.” Paul and Pamela are Arizona and Quincy’s parents.

“Okay. I’ll wait. I ran into Pamela last week. She showed me a picture from the tabloids of Arizona and Layton Lancaster. He’s a hunk of man meat.”

“Mom, no one saysman meat. They’re friends. Layton is Quincy’s best friend.”

“How’s Quincy? Do you still have a crush on him?”

“That was like fifteen years ago, Mom.”

“We both know it was more than that. You wore his jersey to bed every night, and he popped your cherry.”

Why did I ever tell her that? I couldn’t tell Arizona, and I needed to talk to someone about it. I had the only mother on the planet who reverse slut shamed their child. It drove her nuts that I was a virgin for so long. She wanted me playing the field or, as she used to say,trying on as many shoesas possible before finding the one that fits. She practically had a party when I told her about Quincy when I was eighteen.

“That was also a long time ago. We’re just friends now.”

“Find someone. Make sure you’re coming on the regular. It relaxes you. You’re a better pitcher when you’re relaxed.”

In my most sarcastic tone, I reassure her, “I promise to come at least once or twice a day.”

“Don’t forget, an orgasm a day keeps home run hitters away.”

“Words to live by, Mom.”

“They certainly are.”

“I’m pretty sure the saying is an apple a day keeps the doctors away, not an orgasm a day keeps home run hitters away.”

“It should be an orgasm. They’re better than apples.”

I sigh. “Can we change the topic of conversation?”

“I need to run anyway. I have a date tonight, and I want to get a Brazilian wax, so my goodies are looking their best.”

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