Page 125 of Curveball

She scrunches her face. “I think the word you’re looking for is crazy, not pathetic.”

I blow out a breath. “I’ve been crying over him for much longer than I’d care to admit.”

She tucks my hair behind my ear. “I know. You won’t leave the possibility open for it to work out between you two?” She pinches her index finger and thumb close together. “Maybe just a crack in the door?”

The tears start falling from my eyes again. “He’s hurt me so many times. You have no idea. I don’t know if it’s his baggage or some amount of shame about being with me, but—"

She shakes her head. “I don’t believe that at all. He’s fucked up, but he’s been different the past month. He’s laser focused on you and Kaya. I’ve never seen him like this.”

“I’m genuinely happy that he wants to be there for her. I didn’t think he would. I’ll never deny him that.”

“I know you won’t. It’s just…seeing him with you the past few weeks has been both bizarre and sweet. He loves you, Rip. Of that, I’m sure.”

She’s quiet for a moment. “I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about your relationship with him. I can’t believe I missed all the signs. The biggest change in you has been your body image. You spent our entire adolescence insecure about your body. While you still don’t realize how truly beautiful you are, was he the reason for your uptick in confidence?”

She has a hopeful look on her face.

I nod. “Yes. I don’t know how to explain it, especially to his sister. Even the first night we were together, when I was eighteen, he never let me hide my body. He practically worshiped it. He loved everything I hated about myself, but he’s never been willing to loveme. I’ve asked…I’ve begged for it. I’m not enough for him. Now we have this child together and suddenly he outwardly loves me? I wanted it for ten years. I think he’s transferring his feelings for Kaya to me. I’m thrilled he wants to be in her life, and I’d be lying if I said I’m not enjoying him openly professing his love for me, but why now? If I choose to stay with him, I’ll never know if it’s for Kaya or me. That’s not fair to me.”

“I hear what you’re saying, but I don’t think one has anything to do with the other. I think your pregnancy forced him to finally confront his demons.”

“In what way?”

“I’m not completely sure. I know he hasn’t been back in Philly since Thanksgiving. The only time I’ve seen or spoken to him was in the minutes before your mom called to say that you went into labor.”

“Where has he been this whole time?”

“He spent time with our dad at first, but then he said he traveled. I don’t know where. Maybe he’ll share that with you. Just don’t close the door completely. You should have seen himin the hospital with you. We assumed on our flight here that the baby was gone. He was beside himself with desperation to get to you. He sat at your bedside, held your hand, and cried. He professed his love for you when he didn’t think there was a baby.” She rubs my arm. “When I finally saw him again after all these months, I tore into him for how he treated you. He immediately agreed and mentioned wanting to make things right.”

“You don’t understand. Our whole relationship has been on his terms. I feel like I lost a little of myself. That’s not okay. That’s not the example I want to set for my daughter. I want a man to love me the way Layton loves you or not at all.”

She gives me a soft smile. “He loves me good, doesn’t he?”

“Yes, and I hear it every single night. Every. Single. Night.”

She giggles.

“Is the guy on Viagra? He fucks you for hours.”

She laughs louder. “No drugs needed. It’s all him.” She rolls to her back and looks up at the ceiling with a dreamy look on her face. “We’re definitely insatiable for each other. I keep waiting for it to end, but I think it’s getting more intense. I love him so fucking much.”

I reach for her hand. “I know you do. And it’s the same for him. He doesn’t care who knows it. You should have seen him when you were away. He outwardly pined for you. He was incomplete without you. Is it so wrong that I want that too?”

She squeezes my hand. “No, it’s not. You deserve nothing less. Let nature take its course. I’ve seen a different side of Quincy this past month. Just think about givinghim a chance.”

I wakeup in the morning to a large envelope that was clearly slipped under my door while I slept. I open it and see the signed divorce papers. I experience a moment of sadness and a moment of relief. I’m not sure which feeling is stronger.

There’s a yellow Post-it on the front that reads:

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

RIPLEY

As soon as I gave Quincy the go-ahead, there were movers at my mom’s apartment packing my belongings and anything Mom wanted to take with her. He won’t let me lift a single finger. He even arranged for a doctor to travel with us on the plane in case Kaya has any issues on board.

We’re about to land in Philly. Arizona looks at me. “Don’t be mad, but we’re having a little welcome gathering tomorrow afternoon. It’s the only day the Cougars are off. We didn’t get to have a baby shower with you delivering so early and my brother being a douchebag. Let us do this for you.”

I smile at her. “Thanks, babe. I appreciate it. It will be good to see everyone. It’s been a long time.”

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