Page 7 of Faking the Book Boyfriend

Cheetah chuckles. “You’re such a douchebag. In fact, you graduated come loudly from Douchebag University.”

I ask, “Cum Laude, as in graduating with honors?”

Cheetah thumps his head. “In my mind, it’s come loudly. I graduated from StudMan U with a degree in making women come loudly.”

I sigh. “You’re both the co-valedictorians of Douchebag University. Can we go now? Lancaster will cause a paparazzi shitstorm. It’s going to take us twice as long to get there.”

While Cheetah and I are recognized within our respective playing towns of Philadelphia and New York City, Layton is one of the most popular players in all of baseball and has been for over a decade. He’s recognized everywhere he goes and can’t go anywhere without being hounded by autograph seekers and people with cameras begging for a picture of him, often with his latest conquest.

An hour later,we’re sitting at a table with Tanner as we all sip high-end whiskey from our whiskey tumblers and feast on a fresh seafood tower ahead of our steaks arriving. Tanner looks like shit, with bags under his eyes. He rubs his dark beard before admitting, “I feel like I’ve failed Harper. She’s only three. She won’t even remember the time period in her life when Fallon and I were together.”

The three of us look at each other. We can’t offer muchguidance. None of us are fathers and none of us have been married. Layton and I are probably among the older unmarried players in the league. He’s thirty, and I’m twenty-nine. Even Cheetah, at twenty-seven, is an older unmarried man in our league. Many of the guys marry young, most to their high school sweethearts. I get the appeal of that. Someone who cared about youbeforeyou had money.Beforeyou were famous. That’s priceless.

He continues, “And now I only get her half the time.”

I pinch my lips together. “I’m sorry, man. Divorce sucks. My parents went through it. If it makes you feel better, I remember their last few months together, and it would have been better for me if I didn’t.”

He slowly nods. “I suppose. I’m trying to keep things civil with Fallon. It’s better for Harper. That’s why I asked you guys to dinner tonight.”

Cheetah, who has looked at his phone ten times since we’ve been here, feigns hurt. “It wasn’t for our wit and charm?”

Tanner clears his throat. “Definitely not.”

Cheetah wiggles his hips in his seat. “My Latino flair?”

“Umm, no. In all sincerity, you three mean a lot to me. You’re the first three clients I called when I left SMI and went out on my own because you’re like family to me. None of you asked any questions or hesitated. You blindly followed me. I can’t tell you how much that meant.” He swallows down his obvious emotions. “As you may know, Fallon is originally from Philadelphia. She moved here after grad school, and then we met and eventually got married. But she wants to move home now, closer to her family, and I understand why.”

Layton pinches his eyebrows together. “Does that mean Harper will have to split time between Philly and New York?”

Tanner shakes his head. “That’s not fair to Harper. I don’t want her wasting her childhood in a car or train. And I don’t want to miss her eventual school and sporting events.” He briefly pauses, pushing his lips together in a thin line. “I’mmoving to Philly. Effective next week, Montgomery Sports Management will be headquartered in Philadelphia.”

I’m hit with a sudden wave of emotion. I’ve always had Tanner nearby, ever since I was an eighteen-year-old kid getting drafted by the Bombers. Even though he’s only ten years older, he’s been a surrogate father to me in this crazy city. I can’t fathom being here without him.

I put my own fears aside and slap his back, giving him the reinforcement I know he needs right now. “I’ll miss having you here, but I understand. Family first. I commend you for putting Harper’s needs and happiness above your own. You’re a great father.”

He smiles in gratitude, knowing I’m the most adversely affected of the three of us. Layton appears thrilled that he’ll have Tanner nearby. I know he, too, looks to Tanner as a father figure in his life, not having a father of his own.

I glance over at Cheetah who is looking at his phone again. It’s annoying me. Tanner needs us, and Cheetah is only half listening.

I bark, “Cheetah! What is so damn important that you’re on your phone during our friend’s time of need?”

His blue eyes snap up toward Tanner. “Sorry. I know moving isn’t ideal, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t thrilled to have you in Philly.”

I nod toward his phone. “What’s going on?”

“Just a funny situation online that I can’t stop watching. It’s been unfolding all day.”

Tanner sighs. “I could use a distraction. I know I’m the Grim Reaper tonight. Tell us what it is. But if it’s porn, I don’t need to hear about it.”

Layton and I smile at each other. Cheetah is known for watching a ton of porn. He doesn’t bother to hide it.

Cheetah points to his phone. “These four hot chicks—not trashy hot, classy hot—clearly had too much to drink last night. They’re all romance book authors, and they postedvideos of their new business. It’s called Book Boyfriend Builders. They train men to act like the men in their novels.”

I ask, “Like in the books you read?”

Cheetah reads romance novels all the time.

He nods. “Yes. I’ve actually read some of their books. I never knew what the authors looked like. They’re hot as hell. They posted last night, and they have tens of thousands of comments. Some of them are a riot.”

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