Page 46 of Faking the Book Boyfriend

“I’m guessing that you’re the plumber, right?”

I wince. Ugh. More people who believe the lie. “I’m the lucky man your granddaughter is spending time with.”

Grammy Jane rubs her hands together in excitement. “I’m so glad you finally unclogged her pipes. Trust me, she needed it. And she’s been crushing on you for weeks.”

Through gritted teeth, Gemma scolds, “Grammy Jane, not now.”

I chuckle. “I’ve been crushing on her since the second I laid eyes on her, but tell me more about her crush.”

Gemma interrupts, “I’ll have you committed to a nursing home if you say one more word, old lady.”

Her grandmother laughs before picking up her glasses, placing them on her face, and looking more closely at the phone. “You look familiar, Trey. Have we met before?”

Now, with her grandmother on the phone, isn’t the time for the big reveal. I try to divert the conversation. “I’d remember a beautiful woman like you, Grammy Jane.”

She giggles in glee. Gemma leans over and kisses my shoulder while rubbing my back appreciatively.

I squirm as I start to harden at her touch. Gemma notices through the blanket and attempts to discreetly hide it from the camera.

Grammy Jane, who seemingly misses nothing, says, “Oh, pft. There’s nothing I haven’t seen before. If he doesn’t have to fix his matrimonial peacemaker when you touch him, the chemistry isn’t there.”

Gemma lets out a loud laugh. “Matrimonial peacemaker? Classic. I’m using that in a book. Grammy Jane, why don’t I call you later today?”

“I understand. If I had that hunk in my bed, I wouldn’t be on the phone either.”

I wave at the camera. “It was nice to meet you, Grammy Jane. Next time I’ll wear a shirt,” I mumble, “and pants.”

“I’d prefer you didn’t.”

Gemma rolls her eyes. “Goodbye, crazy old lady.”

“I need to talk to you. Be sure to call back.” She gives Gemma a knowing look as something passes between them.

She ends the call and sinks her head into my chest. “Ugh. That was embarrassing. She’s going to be relentless with the questions when I call her back.”

“You two are obviously close.”

“She’s my best friend. I know that’s weird because she’s my grandmother, but she’s been there for me in ways no one else ever has.”

I lift her chin. “I think it’s sweet. I can’t wait to meet her. She lives in Florida, right?”

“Yes. I’m going down there for a week over Christmas. Her friends are a hoot. I get a kick out of all of them. They give me a ton of material for my books.”

“What? Old people give you book material?”

She smiles. “Older communities are a secret hotbed ofsexual behavior. Did you know that they have higher than average STD rates in those communities?”

“Are you serious?”

“Yep. And they all know what I write because my grandmother brags about it. They want their salacious stories in my books. I swear, half of them go out of their way to have crazy sex just so they can report it to me. Being down there is a riot.”

“That’s amazing. I’m coming with you this year. I want to meet your grandmother and her friends.”

She sighs toward the ceiling as she pulls away from me. “Trey, let’s take a step back. I’m not even sure what we are.”

“I think I’ve made my intentions clear, Gemma. I’m almost thirty. I’m not interested in immature games or nonsense. I want to be with you.”

“No games, Trey? What do you call signing up for my book-boyfriend service just to get into my pants? Don’t bullshit me. You've been playing a game this whole time. At least have the dignity to own it.”

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