Page 16 of Faking the Book Boyfriend

She bites her lip. “I think so. The dick thing was weird, but before that things were going really well. We have a lot in common and the chemistry was there.”

“Write back that you’ll think about it, but you’ll need to bring wipes this time.”

She scrunches her face. “Eww. I don’t know if I can say that.”

“Do it. Trust me.”

She reluctantly pulls out her phone and types away. It pings seconds later with a response.

I stare at her as she reads it with a big smile. “What did he write?”

She looks back up at me. “That he’s sorry he did that, but he couldn’t help himself. That I’m so hot he needed to come. He simply couldn’t wait until he got home.”

“Write back that itwashot. That’s why you’re still wearing it.”

She giggles. “No way. I’m not writing that.”

I nod toward her phone and lift my eyebrow.

She sighs. “Ugh. Fine. You’re turning me into a ho.” She sends the text.

Again, her phone pings right away with a response.

After seeing her attempt to bite back a smile, I look at her in question. “Well? What did he write?”

“That the comment was so hot that he’s got his dick in his hand again.”

I laugh. “Told ya so. I’m a dirty talk professional. I have a PhD in sordid thoughts and naughty words.”

“Thanks for your help. I miss your dirty mind. I wish we went out for more than just a monthly lunch.”

My face falls. She’s right. “I know. I get so absorbed in my writing. Nights and weekends are the only time I get to do it. I watch football and basketball with Val and CJ, but I haven’t otherwise been doing much. Let’s make time in the near future to go out.”

She reaches over and squeezes my hand. “I’d love that. Val and CJ monopolize all your free time.”

“You could always hang with the three of us.”

“Umm…no. The three of you have a weird relationship. I’d feel like a fifth wheel even though I’d technically be the fourth.”

I get that. Most people feel that way when hanging out with me and my forever besties.

She continues, “I’ll let my girls know you’re up for going out. They’d love to see you.”

Ugh. I adore Taylor, but her friends are a bit much for me at times. They’re obsessed with finding rich men. These are girls who went to college to get their M.R.S., as in trying to become a wife instead of caring about a real degree. They’re the kind of women who completely change who they are and are willing to drop everything because of the men they’re dating. I hate women like that.

It’s probably why I rarely hang out with them anymore. It’s all about the manhunt. And they’re so judgy about my writing. But I’m committed to being more social, so I halfheartedly agree.

I finishwork and am at the bar a little early, waiting for Trey Donatucci to arrive. I speak into my phone, “Yes, Lubey Libby, I’m meeting with the plumber now.”

She cheerfully asks, “What’s a plumber’s favorite casino game?”

“I don’t know. What?”

“Craps.”

I let out a laugh as I motion for the bartender to refill my vodka martini. I need a little more liquid courage for tonight. I have no idea what the hell I’m doing.

“That’s a terrible joke. But also funny.”

---