Page 15 of Faking the Book Boyfriend

“I appreciate the offer, but with my mother away and the office closed for a few days, it will give me some time to focus on my writing.”

“Oh right. How was your book thingy?”

And that’s what several of my friends and family call it.Book thingyorsex books. They don't understand why I decided to write, and I often feel judged. I try to explain that they’re love stories, because, at the end of the day, I’m a hopeless romantic, but they only see the lascivious side of things, and I’ve stopped bothering to explain it to them.

Taylor is more supportive than most. Though not a romance reader, she always buys my books just because they’re mine, and she gives them the wonderful five-star reviews that we indie authors crave, and I appreciate it. But she still doesn’t get it. I answer questions when asked but don’t otherwise bring it up anymore. I have my author friends to talk to about it.

“It was so much fun.”

“Is it a bunch of women in lingerie walking around looking for sex books?”

I spit my drink in laughter. “Umm, no. No one is in lingerie. It’s no different from any other convention. Think about the Atlantic City boat show we went to a few years ago. That was boats and boat-related product companies with their own booths selling their products. This was authors selling their books and meeting romance readers.”

She shrugs. “Don’t spoil the illusion. I imagine it as one big orgy.”

I smile as I shake my head. “Okay, sure. It’s one massive orgy with a bunch of hornballs groping each other.”

She grins. “Thanks for indulging me. It’s cool that you have this fun hobby. All I do is work. I fit in a date or two now and then, but I feel like all I do is try to please Victor.”

“Any interesting dates lately?”

She gasps. “Holy shit. That reminds me. I’ve been dying to tell you about one I had a few days ago. You’re going to want it for one of your books. It was a guy I met on Hinge, not Tinder.”

That’s code for it being an actual date, not just a booty call.

“The date was going well. I don’t like to put out on a first date if I’m genuinely interested, but after dinner, we were sitting in his car talking when he leaned over to kiss me.”

“Aww. That’s sweet.”

“Just wait. It gets good. So, my eyes are closed while we’re kissing, and he starts moaning. Loudly. Way more than normal for a kiss. I opened my eyes and saw his dick in his hand. He was jerking off while we kissed. On a first date.”

“He just took out his dick? You didn’t touch him or anything?”

“Other than my hands on the back of his neck, no. He jerked off during our first kiss as if it’s a totally normal thing to do.”

“That’s so weird. Where…umm…did it go? When he came.”

She leans over and whispers, “All over my fucking arm.”

I burst out laughing. “Oh my god. That’s classic. I’m definitely using that in a book.” I type a quick note in my phone to remind myself of this ridiculous story.

She smiles as she nods. “I thought you might.”

“How did you leave things with him?Hey, thanks for the arm of jizz. Text me later.”

She giggles. “He just sent me a text when I was in court this morning about wanting to see me again…and some other dirty stuff.”

She blushes, which is very unlike her. I think she’s into this guy.

“Did you respond?”

“No, I’m not good with the dirty banter. I need your help. You’re the sex author.”

“What did his last text say?”

“That he wants to see me again and can’t get my sexy body out of his mind.”

“Do you want to see him again?”

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