Page 77 of Regrets

“I feel so guilty, and I’m so fucking mad at him at the same time.”

I move my hips back and slowly slide forward on his dick, reveling in the feeling, my teeth sinking into his shoulder as I feel the buildup deep inside, already close to coming. Because itfeels wrong and dirty. Apparently, that’s what turns me on the most.

“Come with me, P. Just let it go.”

We’re fooling ourselves. But as the orgasm rolls through me, we both let the illusion take over and get lost in each other.

When we’re both satisfied, we swim back to the dock and pull on our clothing, walking back into the house, both of us unable to talk about it.

Knowing we can’t live like this forever.

When I open the sliding glass door, I immediately see Lola sitting on the couch. Linc follows, looking at her with irritation. “Jesus, Lola. Just let yourself in.”

She stands, unbothered by Linc. “I couldn’t leave without talking to Penelope.”

Linc nods to her, giving an unneeded blessing. “I’m going to go take a shower.”

He leaves, and I take a seat on the couch, following Lola’s lead. “Lola . . .”

She holds up a hand to silence me. “Penelope, I’m so sorry he betrayed you.”

I stare at her, uncertain about what to say. “I betrayed him too.”

She looks saddened but not shocked. “So, you and Linc . . .”

I nod, hating the secrets that have been weighing me down for over a year now, maybe longer than that. “Yes.”

She takes a deep breath but doesn’t seem angry. “Before he died? Or after?”

Don’t lie. Do not be a coward. “We had sex the night of my senior prom. And then after Colt died.” She nods her head, absorbing the information. But I don’t want her angry with Linc. “It was all on me though. I was the one in the relationship, no matter how flawed it was or if I thought we were apart. I shouldn’t . . .”

She silences me again, placing a hand on my shoulder. “Penelope. To me, you’re my sister. We all mess up. We all have flaws, and it’s no secret how much you always loved both of them.”

That’s a scary thought. “Really?”

She nods. “Colt, he . . .” She closes her eyes in painful silence and then opens them again. “Everyone always thought it was Lincoln who was the troubled one, but they were all wrong. It was Colt. He was in this glass cage his whole life, struggling to be perfect, and then he just snapped. But I’m not excusing it.”

“How can I be mad at him for essentially doing the same thing I did only because he did it first? It’s not like I knew.”

“Didn’t you though?” Her eyes are full of wisdom beyond her years, kind like her mother’s.

I feel the sobs bubbling up in my throat. Icouldfeel it. I knew something was wrong. “Yes.”

“I have no idea what the last year has been like. The pain. The guilt. The punishment you’ve no doubt inflicted on each other.” She knows us both entirely too well. “But I can’t just leave you like this. I’ve been lost this year. I haven’t been a good sister, but I’m here now. I’m stronger.”

“Lola, it’s not your job to clean up our messes.”

“I know you’ve always been in love with Linc, long before Colt died. I was too busy with my career, trying to impress my father and get his approval that will never come.” Her eyes meet mine. “Go with me.”

“Where are you going?”

“California, I think. I love it there.”

I stare at her in confusion as she stands up pacing the floor. “I can’t be my father’s daughter anymore. I don’t want to work there and help the rich get richer. If I’m going to work for wealthy assholes, at the very least, I’m going to make the world better-looking.”

“What are you talking about?” I watch her in awe because I’ve never seen her like this, a fire burning inside her.

“I have my trust fund. I’m quitting my job with my father, and I’m moving somewhere pretty where it rarely snows. And instead of living on the lake, I’m going to live on the beach.”

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