Page 75 of Regrets

P looks like she’s going to be sick as she holds her balled up hand to her chest. “He wanted to get married?”

Lola nods again. “Yes. He loved you, Penelope. That’s why none of this makes sense.”

Lola doesn’t understand, but I see the realization come over P’s beautiful face as she looks at me. “Your dad didn’t like the idea, did he?”

I shake my head. “No. He’s an asshole.”

Penelope stands up, and it rips my heart out to watch the spiral before me and know I can’t do anything about it right now, not with my sister right here. Plus, I’m not sure anything I could do would help.

“He didn’t think I was good enough for Colt.”

It’s not a question. Her face pales, and she looks vulnerable, gazing out at the water. “He didn’t. But he was wrong. He’s the trash, not you.”

Lola stands and walks to P, her hand squeezing her shoulder. “Penelope, none of us thought that about you.”

“That’s why he cheated.” She looks past Lola at me. “This Vivienne, she went to school with you guys? I’m assuming her family is like yours.”

I give a curt nod, my hand dragging over my trimmed beard. “Yes.”

“So, she was the type of woman your father wanted him with?”

I stand up. “I don’t give a fuck what my father wanted, and Colt shouldn’t have either.”

Lola still seems to be in denial. “Maybe this girl is lying. I just . . . even being mad at Dad, I can’t imagine him doing this.”

“You’re not helping.”

A tear slides down P’s cheek. “He did, Lola.” Her voice is sad and barely above a whisper. “He wouldn’t touch me. I wanted to. He didn’t because he was always fighting the battle, knowing your father wouldn’t approve. I was just forbidden fruit he was tempted to taste and never did.”

“P.” I reach for her, but she dodges away from me and grabs the door handle.

“I need to be alone.”

She walks inside, and Lola sits back down on the bench, her face showing how lost and confused she is. “You love her?”

I take a seat and sigh, tired of fighting it. “What does it matter?”

“It matters.”

I turn to look out over the horizon, my throat bobbing with anxiousness. “Yes.” My gaze returns to my sister. “But she’s still my brother’s girl, whether he’s dead or not.”

“I’m not sure that was ever really true, Lincoln.”

“Of course, it was. They dated for a long time, Lola. She was his.”

She shakes her head, her eyes lifting to meet mine with dead seriousness. “So, it was fine when he was alive?”

I stare at her, her words holding ammunition. “Do all my sibling spy on me?”

First Ash, now Lola. Both acting like they know more than they ever let on before.

“No, we just paid attention. I saw the looks. Every look. Every touch. The longing. I know you loved her from the day you brought her home.” I watch her tear up, and her words come out strained. “And I know she’s been conflicted since that day.”

P’s words from the day at the dock ring in my ears. “Fell in love with them both.”

“At least when he was alive, he could kick my ass when I had it coming. I can’t win by default.”

She stands up, a finger pointed in my direction. “It’s always about the competition. You know, Lincoln, you’re twenty-one. You’re graduating from college soon. You need to grow up.”

---