Page 55 of Regrets

“That’s how we started.”

“What is this?” He stands up, getting angrier as he turns to me still on the bed. “You want to see other people? Is that what you’re worried about?”

I hug my waist and shake my head. “No.”

“I don’t believe you.” His eyes grow darker, and his resemblance to Linc is even more definite in this moment. “I think you’re scared to only be with one person. You have the need to sleep around at college?”

I glare at him, angry at his words and thinking this is not at all like him. “Are you calling me a slut?”

“You’ve been trying to sleep with me for years now, and I wouldn’t give in, but not for lack of you trying.”

I stand up, furious with him. “You’re my boyfriend. There’s a difference.”

“Is there?”

“What’s going on with you, Colt? You haven’t been yourself lately, and you’ve turned into a hateful asshole.”

“That’s what you think? You really think we broke up on prom night, and that we should have just let it stick? How can you even say that to me?” I’ve never seen him this upset before. “So you can go to college and do whatever you want, and I can go on and marry who I’m supposed to marry?”

I stare at him, his words shocking me to my core. “Who are you supposed to marry, Colt?”

This isn’t happening. My whole world is crumbling around me, and I want to climb into a dark hole and hide for the rest of my miserable life.

“You know, Penelope. The wealthy, sophisticated type who comes from a good family.”

The way he says it is rehearsed and forced as if he’s quoting someone else. “Yeah. That’s what should have happened, Colt.”

I’m hurt and lost. I’m angry at the world and would kill to go back in time, but is this the real him? If it is, maybe I don’t want to go back and live the lie.

He looks stunned and just as pained, his blue eyes swimming with sadness and fury. “Fine. You can have your wish.”

He leaves the room in a rageful fit, and I stand there sobbing and angry, at war with myself. He’s been my best friend for nearly ten years. I miss him already and want to run after him. I hear the front door slam, and I flop down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, knowing I’ve lost him.

But it’s too late. The poisonous tragedy that is Penelope Jones has coursed through the Sterling family and ravaged them enough.

29

PENELOPE

How am I here? One year later.

Lola climbs out of the driver’s side of the car and walks around, joining Nora as she gets out of the car. I stay frozen in the backseat, wedged between Linc and Asher.

Asher has changed in the last year too, although he was already starting to change from the rambunctious, hyper child into a full-on broody teenager when Colt died. But there’s definitely a darkness there now.

He exits the car, leaving Linc and I in the back seat as I stare at the water.

“It’ll be okay, Penelope.”

I swallow a sob, hating the lake for taunting me. “No it won’t, Linc.”

I’m angry with him for making me come here, but I know at the end of the day, he was right. I owe this to Nora. If her therapist thinks this will help her with her grief, then I have to be here.

Linc opens his door and leaves while I try to get the courage to follow. They all grab their bags from the trunk.

I look at the water, calm but still ominous.

Why am I here, Colt?

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