Page 43 of Regrets

Her eyes meet mine. “And that fucking bad at the same time.”

I release her and take a step back, struggling to keep my calm.

“It’s why you do it too.” I turn away from her, looking out at the lake. “You hate me, but you can’t turn me away because you want it to hurt.”

I look away from the lake and back to P. “So, this is our lives now? Punishing the hell out of each other?”

“Every chance we get.”

“Sounds like hell.”

“That’s where sinners go, right?”

I walk back toward the house, brushing her shoulder as I pass her. “Bring on the pain, P.”

I slide open the door and walk inside the house we share, knowing the torture has only just begun.

How much agony does it take before you finally go numb?

22

PENELOPE

ONE YEAR AGO

Ilet the water run over my face and then my body as I try to wash away my betrayal.What did I do? Why did it feel so good?

Linc’s body, his hands, his lips.

Every bit of him wanted me. At least for last night. He didn’t shove me away. He pulled me closer. And if anything, my being dirty seemed to turn him on further.

“Fuck them all, P. If they don’t see you, fuck them.”

The memory of his words send a shiver through my body as I wash off and climb out of the shower, drying my hair and body, but not putting much effort into my look, pulling my hair into a low pony and avoiding the mirror.

Linc was gone when I woke up in bed alone this morning. Not shocking. He got what he wanted. Why the hell would he stay?

I quickly find my clothes from last night, putting them all back on except for my panties. Those I throw in the trash. When I see a pair of black sunglasses with white sides sitting on the dresser in the Sterling’s master suite, I look out the window. The sun is bright and so is the glare of my indiscretions.

I pull them on my face and walk down the long hallway that seemed longer last night when I was buzzed and in a daze from my fight with Colt.

There are people spread all over the living room in various states of dress, most of them asleep, passed-out from a long night of partying. The once elegant and grand living room is now trashed with empty cups, liquor bottles, and food everywhere.

I don’t see either Sterling brother as I escape out the front door, unsure of where I’m going, but I know I can’t breathe in there anymore.

As soon as I burst out to the front deck and the fresh air fills my lungs, I feel a quick surge of relief followed only by misery when I see Colt sitting on the porch swing, his face full of distress. His eyes move to mine as he looks from where he was staring out at the lake and then to me. “Pea? Where were you?”

I feel nothing but awful guilt at his question, not lowering my sunglasses because I can’t face him or what I did last night.

He stands up and walks to me, the worry only multiplying on his handsome face. Although, it doesn’t look like he slept last night. He’s still wearing the same clothes, and I don’t think he’s showered. “I looked all over for you. Where were you?”

“I slept in your parent’s room.”Not a lie.

“Shit. I didn’t look there. I assumed it would be locked. They always lock it before letting Linc come up.”

Sounds about right.

He looks pained as his hand slides over my arm down to my hand, his fingers sliding through mine. “Are you okay?”

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