Page 41 of Regrets

Her hips roll forward, milking my cock and riding her orgasm until her hands drop to her sides and I collapse onto her, kissing her neck and coming down from the high.

And then a sick realization hits me.

I came inside her.

“Fuck!”

“What’s wrong?” She looks up at me, worried as I pull out of her.

“I came.”

She looks confused, wrinkling her brow. “I think that’s what’s supposed to happen.”

I stand up from the bed, pacing the floor, freaked the fuck out. “Yeah, but not inside you.”Fuck!I had a goddamn condom in my wallet. I’ve never once forgotten a condom before. Not once.

“Linc, it’s okay.” She sits up, and she doesn’t look nearly as scared as she should be.

How could I do this to her?

I walk back to the bed, gripping her face in my hands because I don’t think reality has hit her yet, and I know she’s going to fucking panic when it does. “You want to get pregnant?”

She looks almost ashamed as her head tilts down, still in my hands. “I’m on the pill.”

Oh, thank Christ. Relief hits me as I release her and sit on the edge of the bed, my hands gripping my hair. “Fuck me.”

“Does that turn you off?”

I turn to look back at her over my shoulder. “Why the hell would it?”

She looks broken and vulnerable as she shrugs, sitting there naked, pulling her legs up to her chest. “Like I’m a whore or something. On the pill. I didn’t make you use a condom.”

I move to my knees in front of her. “You are not a fucking whore. You’re not dirty. You’re fucking perfect.”

She rests her head on her knees and sobs softly.

What the fuck did my brother do to her?

What the hell did I just do to her?She was vulnerable and sad from her breakup, and I fucked her. I took her virginity.

I shake the thoughts off and place my hand on her arm, determined. “P. Look at me.” I didn’t take her virginity. She offered it to me, and I accepted it.

Her eyes lift. “What did we do, Linc?” I see the sadness in her eyes when she looks at me, crushing a piece of my soul.

She regrets it.

She wishes it was him.

21

LINC

Istare out at the lake as I stand out on the deck that goes right up to the water. It’s a windy day, and I watch the branches of the trees bend and sway. The water ripples, and I feel a slight chill as I take my shirt off and lay it on one of the chairs.

I think P is still asleep. I know my mom and Lola being here yesterday was a lot for her.

It was a lot for me.

I can’t look at either one of them without seeing my brother’s face.

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